Archive for the ‘the refuge’ Category

creativity is healing

Monday, September 14th, 2009

“The act of creation is always a solitary one. Others can encourage us to create. They cannot create for us. The man of ten talents needs the same courage as the man of one…. Surely, I reasoned, it must be the magnitude of their gifts that enables artists and scientists and inventors to go on producing when they are rejected and scorned by their own contemporaries. Now I am not so sure that the greatness of the talent has any direct relation to the degree of persistence with which it is developed.
When I become aware of my own gifts and give my attention to communicating what is in me—my own truth, as it were—I have the experience of growing toward wholeness. I am working out God’s “chosen purpose,” and I am no longer dependent on what others think and how they respond. The experience itself is confirming. The response of others can give me pleasure or pain, but it cannot keep me from the act of creating.”

Elizabeth O’Connor, from Inward/Outward

on saturday night at the refuge we had an open share evening, creative works of art, photography, spoken word, video, poetry, songs, and everything in between. it was beautiful. powerful. rich. keith shared something that todd fadel from the bridge in portland said when they were with us this summer: “creativity is healing.” saturday night was healing, not just for those who shared but for those who listened & soaked in our friend’s hearts & passion.
below are some pictures from the evening. more pictures are here.
we didn’t have time to share some responses to the beauty together because of time, so we’d love for you to comment here.

what got stirred up in you?
how did you see God’s beauty reflected?
how was creativity healing?




extensions of the refuge

Monday, April 27th, 2009

window with web designa few weeks ago at our 3 year birthday party we created a space to share all of the different ministries, organizations, kids, and missionaries we support locally, globally.  the beauty of sharing is a reminder of how far and wide our little community extends its heart in tangible ways.  many were missing that evening, but here’s what people wrote.  if you have more that didn’t make it here, add a comment.  may we continue to be generous with our money, our time, our hearts…

ministries people support:
·         milehigh ministries
·         home-pdx
·         restoration village
·         christians for biblical equality
·         torn curtain arts
·         dry bones
·         cherish uganda
·         international family missions
·         oasis international
·         servants in Christ
·         compassion international
·         world vision
·         K-LOVE
·         come let’s dance
·         young life
·         mountain area pregnancy care center
·         joshua station
·         hope2others
·         beautiful savior lutheran school
·         mercy ministries

sponsored children:
·         6 thai kiddos through lightbridge international
·         2 kids in ethiopia
·         1 in mexico
·         evab in kenya
·         children at cherish uganda
·         caroline & sacki & sanu in uganda
·         pushba & 1 other in india
·         humphrey in tanzania
·         2 absolut adut
·         christian in ecuador
·         yasmita & 1 other in guatemala
·         1 in el salvador
·         1 in dominican republic
·         jackson in mumbai

missionaries supported in other countries & the US:
·         saudi arabia
·         nepal
·         thailand
·         uganda
·         russia
·         middle east
·         something that starts with a “w”!
·         seattle
·         denver
·         salt lake city
·         oakland

volunteer time at:
·         westwoods elementary
·         cambridge
·         dry bones
·         joshua station
·         the grange
·         boulder county
·         denver women’s prison
·         MOPS
·         st. louis
·         the refuge

a metaphor for us

Monday, April 20th, 2009

cupcake with candlesthe refuge is 3 years old!   it’s hard to believe that 3 years have passed & against all odds the refuge is alive and well.  as we celebrate what God has done and what we hope for in our future, take a look at this powerful clip that we think is the best picture of not just the refuge community but the upside down ways of the kingdom of God, beauty & glory in the least likely of places.

·         check it out here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

what does this stir up in you?

an evening of hope

Monday, February 16th, 2009

post it noteslast sunday, february 8th, we had an evening of reflective stations to wrap up our series on hope.  it was a beautiful evening of hope & connecting with God in all kinds of ways.  several of the stations had questions about hope. here are some of the collective responses:

What causes you to lose hope??

When something goes wrong
Looking at me. Focusing on my stuff
Human forgetfulness
When I take my eyes off Jesus
That I am not forgiven
Feeling isolated and overwhelmed
When circumstances don’t change and I pray and pray
Forgetting I’m just a small part of a big beautiful picture
Circumstance after circumstance going awry, going awry going awry
Fear
Life circumstances
Circumstances, bad luck, other people
Depression, The past (at least the ugly parts), struggle without relief
Time
Death

What does hope look like?

A child’s laugh
A baby’s laugh
Others willing to listen
It looks like a ray of sunshine piercing acloudy sky
The kingdom is real and present
A strong urge inside to perpetuate anything good
It looks like a smile, a smooth easy path
Like an unexpected phone call, someone wondering how I’m doing out of the blue
My daughter that is her middle name
It looks like a hug
“The love that fills my heart after forgiveness”
A way through the desert
Friendships

Where does hope start?

It’s like a light at the end of  a dark tunnel
The rock–God
Hope begins when any journey begins
In the beginning God
I think it starts in unexpected and different ways. Sometimes inside and sometimes outside. Always God.
At the bottom
Something unexpected
Smiling eyes
No fear rather being confident in what I’m doing and God has my back
With a ray of God’s presence in your life at that moment of despair
God uses friends and a word to light the fire of hope
Hope starts with introspection and maybe analyzing God’s goodness and faithfulness
Honest safe friends
Belonging in something that is bigger than me
Hope starts with Jesus
With a conversation with a safe person that later may turn into talking with God
A tree full of crisp, sweet apples, just ready to be eaten
One more step one more breath one day closer to heaven
Waking up

When hope is lost, how can it be regained?

Crying out to Jesus
In everything with praise and thanksgiving.  God know your needs
By asking safe people to remind me of what is good
Ask a safe person. Ask God. Ask and it will be given seek and you will find
Reaching out and letting others know your feelings
By crying myself to sleep and asking God questions and being still
Staying in community   The Bible
Through the eyes of community
Never ending? looking away from ands toward God, like Mack did in The Shack book. Community with Safe real people on the way
Consciously seeking glimpses of God
Looking to the word of God and praying
Spend time with God and in prayer and in His word
By looking to the Author of Hope-Jesus
Making a decision to receive hope by remembering
I’m still working on this one
Staying in and crying out

After communion, here are some things people wrote on stones about how they were feeling:
peace    hope    solace    weak    despair    healing    Jesus    loved    fear    new puppy    comfort    grace and love    cherished    very grateful    ok together    reserved hope    love is the key    my hope is his blood flowing in me    freedom    thankful for grace from my friends    willing    wanting real bread    total    immersion in Jesus    there is hope    not alone

thank you, God, for your Hope.



DREW - O Prisoners of Hope

Monday, January 19th, 2009

light at the top of stairsI have had the pleasure of sharing my life over the last 2 years with some very special people who have touched my heart and my life in so many ways.  As I begin to write I write with them in mind and the tremendous amount of hope that they have given me over these last two years and the courage to finish a race that at times simply seems to daunting and confusing to continue to run.  It’s their own stories of hope and love that spurs me on.  If you are reading this blog you are most likely one of those people or connected to us in some manner as the Body of Christ, thank you.

When I was asked to write about hope it didn’t take long before Zechariah 9:12 ran through my head.  I don’t mean to imply that I might be a biblical scholar with an extensive liturgical scholarship in theology because I am far from that and trust me that is a good thing for your sake and I am convinced for mine as well, however, I did ask the Holy Spirit why he or she reminded me of a verse that was likely drilled into my head by a earthly father with every good intention that his son might know love of God.  So let me share a little bit with you about what the Holy Spirit has shared with me and then we can let the games begin.

So you can get the context:

“11 As for you, because of the blood of my covenant with you, I will free your prisoners from the waterless pit. 12 Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you. 13 I will bend Judah as I bend my bow and fill it with Ephraim.  I will rouse your sons, O Zion, against your sons, O Greece, and make you like a warrior’s sword.” Zechariah 9:11-13 (NIV)

I love these verses partially because I am a sucker for poetry but beyond the beautifully written word and poetic prose lies a deeper meaning that stirs the ancient areas of my heart.  Zechariah was one of the minor prophets and it is no wonder that he used the phrase “O prisoners of hope.” His ministry to the nation of Israel was during their exile back from Babylonian captivity to rebuild Israel and the temple that the Babylonians had destroyed.  It’s no wonder that the meaning behind his name meant “The Lord Remembers”. How appropriate that The Lord (Yahweh) is the the covenant name of God and is an everlasting testimony of faithfulness to his children whom he never forgets and always Remembers.  Zechariah along with his fellow countrymen have lived in the confines of the Babylonian Empire under the leadership of Nebuchadnezzar forced to worship false gods. Later the Israelites were released to freedom and back to their homeland after Cyrus the Great of Persia conquers the Babylonians and then on top of it all he writes a decree to allow them to live out their faith in freedom and rebuild the temple.  Cyrus encouraged them to proceed and so they started to establish the foundation of the new temple and it seemed like everything was going great and then all of the sudden the Samaritans want to get involved in the building process and the Israelites told them to butt out. Well, the long and short of it was the Samaritans got their feelings hurt and their panties all in a wad and started spreading lies about the possible Israelite rebellion that would result due to the resurrection of the temple.  The powers to be got wind of this and shut it down.  I can only imagine the disappointment that the Israelites felt at this point in time.  They had endured years of abuse in a foreign land under the rule of a crazy man and then they were finally set free to go back to their promise land and permitted to worship their God in freedom. Began to rebuild the temple and someone falsely pulls the carpet out from underneath them.  I think I would have felt like giving up too!  Then hear comes Zechariah proclaiming the voice of God and sowing seeds of hope among the destitute and broken-hearted not only that the temple would be re-built but that their Savior was coming soon and that he would redeem all that they had lost and return it to them two fold.

As I was reading this I was thinking Zechariah had a hell of a job trying to sow seeds of hope to a distraught and destitute nation and all by his lonesome –how did he have the strength to do this?  Well he wasn’t alone. He had a friend and confidant in Haggai, another minor prophet who had seen the actual destruction of the first temple all the way through to the present time.  I’m sure they both leaned on one another in so many different ways and encouraged and exhorted one another to help see their countrymen to the end of this struggle to rebuild their temple so that they could worship their true Father in freedom.  Any time there is a one and another ‘one another’ there is community and community is where hope thrives and somehow there always seems to be enough hope to see us through.  When I think about the temple that the Israelites rebuilt I think about our hearts and the rebuilding that goes on daily.  The Israelites finally rebuilt the Temple the temple in 516 BC. Construction of a new temple was begun in 537 BC; after a hiatus, work resumed 520 BC, with completion occurring in 516 BC and dedication in 515.  If you remember from earlier the rebuilding of the Temple was authorized by Cyrus the Great and ratified by Darius the Great. God’s faithfulness and the community that surrounds us gives us hope that one day freedom might be restored.  Even though we experience restoration in portions of our hearts, just like the Israelites did with the temple, doesn’t mean we are exempt from pain and suffering, in fact, Christ said we would continue to experience trouble (John 16:33) and that suffering that results from the trouble that we experience teaches us to love more deeply, and through that love we give others hope to take one more step.  That’s not the end of the story nor the end of what Zechariah wrote to the Israelites.  In 70 A.D. the Romans destroyed the temple a second time and to this day the Jews are hoping that it will be restored once again when the Messiah returns.  Zechariah 14 is the prophecy concerning the second coming of Christ and the final restoration of the temple.  Pretty cool story. I tried to tell it as I understood it and I hope it leaves you encouraged.

Finally I will end by sharing with you something that happened to me in the fall of ‘08.  I have struggled with SA since I was a young kid and the last several years God has surrounded me with a great community of people both men and woman who have loved me and created a safe place for my heart to heal.  I suffered the consequences of a lost marriage and as I have grown and healed over the years the prospect of dating has come up.  I certainly keep hoping that one day I might be able to remarry and have a family. It’s a deep desire that I have had to put on hold for a long time, but now that I’m here I still hear the lies that tell me that I am damaged goods and that I could never love or be loved enough to sustain a relationship so I remain stagnate. It has been a difficult transition for me and probably one of the scariest things that I have faced most recently. This last Fall I relapsed. Usually when that happens I isolate and hide, but this particular night I decided to do something different and it snowballed into something more than I would have imagined –something redemptive.  I decided to go to the Refuge. They were having a dinner that night so I kind of hung out in the foyer trying to be as discreet as I possibly could and I am really good at that, trust me.  As I hung out and watched people getting their dinners and sitting around fellowshiping I saw this peculiar older gentleman walking around in what looked like fatigues and a mohawk with all kinds of cool earrings and tattoos.    It definitely got my attention, but then again the Refuge is a melting pot of everything and everybody that’s what makes it so good.  I just thought to myself it must be a new guy and continued to people watch.  About 5 minuets later Kathy got up and started to introduced a friend of hers that she and Karl had met up in the NW and then asked him to come up and share a little bit about himself.  It was the new guy I saw.  I thought to myself “this should be interesting cause you never know who Kathy’s going to bring even though it’s usually always good” and just by his looks alone he seemed like a helluva character. I was intrigued to say the least.  Well he got up and no kidding he said the following,” Hello, my name is Ken and I have 22 days of sobriety from alcoholism……”  I lost it inside I started to tear up and the feelings of loneliness and shame slid right off my back.  Under my breath I said thanks Ken, I only have 30 minutes but I know I’m not alone any more.  I can’t really describe to you the rest because it would take too long and I don’t know that I could put words to it that would do it any justice, but I did get a chance to talk to him a couple of days later and found out he had a heart bigger that the state of Texas and a huge burden for the homeless.  Earlier that evening his wife Deborah shared with the group and I was blown away by the fact that she had stayed with Ken all those years even though he had struggled with his addiction for so long.  You see I have always bought the lie of perfection: kick the addiction then you will be acceptable enough, otherwise you’re just damaged goods that nobody wants.  That was clearly not the case and Deborah and Ken were living proof that challenged the lie that I had lived with for so long.  I’m generally a pretty private person and a little bashful with people I have never talked to before, but I felt a deep need to thank Deborah for loving Ken despite his battle with alcoholism, and I’m not sure how this works but by loving Ken she loved me and gave me hope that one day I might be married and loved for Drew, the good the bad and the ugly, and not for my goodness alone.  Later I spoke to Deborah and told her what I had shared with Ken about my journey and what she had done for me by loving Ken and how much it meant to me.  She smiled and thanked me and said that no one had ever told her that before then she gave me a hug and said she was hopeful that someone special would come into my life soon.  I wrote Ken later because I wanted to share with him a quote that I had found that I thought represented their love for one another….

Any way here is the note I wrote:

Ken,
How are you doing? I wanted to write you and Deborah and thank you for your time spent with us here in Colorado. I enjoyed talking with you Thursday night and wanted to let you know that you really spoke to my heart and give me hope. I looked up the quote from CS Lewis that Deborah gave during her talk and found that it came from a Sermon that he gave in 1941 called “The Weight of Glory”. I love CS Lewis and have enjoyed reading his works when I can keep up with him sometimes his thought are quite deep and it’s a daunting task to understand what he’s exactly trying to communicate, but he always has some amazing insight. I came across another quote the other day and thought of both you. I hope it is a blessing to you as you continue to be a blessing to so many others. I’ll keep you both in my prayers, take care.

“Loving all of it even while he had to hate some of it because he knows now that you don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” -William Faulkner

With Love, Drew

I love Ken and Deborah and I love the body of Christ.  It’s amazing the amount of hope there is when we love despite. It’s the message God gave Zechariah in 520 BC and it the same today. God bless you and when things go south try to remember you’re loved, O prisoner of hope…

reflecting forward - an evening of creativity

Monday, January 5th, 2009

hopes for the new year collagethis past saturday night at our weekend place of refuge gathering at the grange we facilitated a creative experience to help reflect and dream about this upcoming year. it was a beautiful evening, so many different expressions of hope for the journey. here are some of the questions we used to guide the exercise:

what words describe ‘08 for you?

in your journey this past year what are some of the encouragements that have given you joy?

what name would you like to give this new year’s journey?

as you stand on the threshold of 2009 how would you express the fears, excitement and hope you have?

what is your greatest desire for this coming year?

download the entire reflection sheet here.

here are some more snapshots from the evening:

may this kind of corporate creativity continue to be nurtured in 2009!

dreams revisited

Monday, November 10th, 2008

shadow group
we’re doing lots of dreaming these days, thinking about this upcoming year in the life of our community. in the spirit of that, we thought we’d revisit a post we wrote over a year ago about dreams for the church….

we have a dream…
it’s not a small one.
it’s not a huge one (we’re not planning to lead any marches anytime soon)
we think it’s a simple one.

and despite our cynicism about ‘church’ (yes, we know it seeps through!) we are idealists. we wouldn’t be doing this if we had given up.

we are still “foolish” enough to think some of our dreams are possible. we think when Jesus said

your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven

he meant that the Kingdom was possible now.

here are a few of our dreams…

we have a dream that we’d be people who took Jesus word’s seriously. this means we don’t get to just talk about it, we actually have to be forgiving, loving, sacrificing, humble. we need to be people willing to give away our stuff, care for the widows and orphans, die to ourself, hug lepers, lay down power, and make peace with our enemies.

we have a dream that all people would be valued. when we look at each other we don’t let color, socioeconomics, gender, theologies, shapes or sizes or social abilities get in the way of seeing the image of God and respecting each other’s worth, value & contribution to this world.

we have a dream that no single parent would feel like they were parenting alone. they’d have other people willing to fill in the gaps, pick up the slack, offer help, prayer, and love so it’s not so damn hard.

we have a dream that no one would feel crippled by their weaknesses. the damage from the past & present would not paralyze us from living out who God made us to be, instead, we’d use our story to help another person.

we have a dream that we’d know our neighbors. actually know them, and notice if they’re hungry or sad or lonely and do something about it if we can.

we have a dream that every child had grownups other than their parents who believed in them. we’d see all that was possible, and cheer them on in really tangible ways.

we have a dream that people of Jesus would be known for the acts of Jesus. when people hear the word “Christian” they did not cringe and immediately think “judgmental”. instead, they’d have warm feelings that were associated with the truth of Christ’s love & kindness because they experienced it from one of us at some point and couldn’t escape its power.

we have a dream that we’d be advocates. we will stand with the marginalized, oppressed, poor & unlovely, that we’d risk our pride. position, and power so that someone with none could get a little.

we have a dream that walls between churches & the community would crumble. walls that have been built because of fear and past ugly experiences would dissolve. that we’d learn to share resources, support each other & let care for human beings supersede our politics & theologies.

we have a dream that every person would feel known, loved & cared for by another human being. that we’d do our little part to help banish loneliness.

we have a dream that we’d be a community of dreamers. what are some of yours?

KATHY - the church is not a building

Monday, November 3rd, 2008

 

never doubt that a small, group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. – margaret mead

i am very excited for our new saturday evening space for the refuge weekend gathering at the crescent grange hall!  it really couldn’t be more “us”—the wrong side of the railroad tracks, in the old part of town where the aging houses next to junkyards next to nice office buildings. it’s definitely the right metaphor.  a real unexpected, unlikely gem. a gift from God to our dear community. a lovely, worn farmhouse with charm & space & a sort of unspoken sign on the door that says “i am meant to be used again. fill me up with love & laughter & food & friends.” after our first gathering this past saturday night we could all feel the warmth and hope of what could be.  

sky housebut i want to remind everyone, remind myself, that the refuge would have been perfectly fine without this space.  you see, the church is always the people, not a building.  and people committed to God & each other, no matter where they gather—houses, coffee shops, golf courses, apartment buildings, weird rented spaces—are what create the church, the beautiful, diverse, wild and wonderful body of Christ.  the conversations that happen during the week, the phone calls, the emails, the prayers, the tangible help & hope that gets passed on in big & small ways, the neighbors that are loved, the scriptures that are shared, the words of encouragement, the serving, the giving, the learning, the growing, the falling down & getting back up, the grace, the truth, Christ’s love made real—that’s the church.  

what can sometimes happen in moments like this is we start to think that all the action of the refuge now happens on saturday nights in a cool spot that will hopefully start to feel a lot more like home.  that that is “church.”  nah, that’s just a gathering.  a wonderful beautiful gathering of other folks on the journey, sure. a time to soak in God & hope & love in a really intentional way, sure.  a sweet respite from the craziness of our lives, sure.  but real church, real community, real life will continue to happen the other 6 ¾ days of the week.  

i love what God is up to & am so excited for our future. i hope we dream big dreams. i hope we try all kinds of crazy things. i hope lives are somehow changed because of God’s touch through us.  i hope God stirs up passion for new ideas and gives us courage to give them a try.  i hope together we learn more about what it means to be people & places of refuge. i hope the world’s a little better because of us.  i hope we can keep bringing the good news to hard places.  i hope for more and more Hope that could never, ever be contained within 4 walls once a week!  

God, in this upcoming year help us learn more and more deeply what it means to be the church. 

 

the refuge - off the map live photos

Monday, October 27th, 2008

off the map logoit was a great couple of days at the born again church tour in denver october 17th & 18th.  thanks everyone who helped pull this off.  here are some pictures capturing some of the moments shared together there.  we hope that in the months to come that we continue to dream and experiment and live out some of our hopes for all the church can be.

photos by Jennifer Herrick here. more photos to follow.

The Refuge - Blessed are the…

Tuesday, September 30th, 2008

heart on woodthis is the liturgy we wrote & have been using each week at our sunday gatherings focusing in on the beatitudes & the sermon the mount.  as the final line says, may these words sink deeply into our hearts, our lives in ways we never dreamed: 

 

blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 

God, we need you.

we’re at the end of our rope. we can’t do it. 

without you, we’re empty, un-filled.

ALL-  God, help us realize how much we need you.

 

blessed are those who mourn,  for they will be comforted. 

sometimes we are afraid to feel, we don’t know what to feel

we’re too tired.  we’re too afraid.  what if it starts & never stops? what if they use it against me?  what if i can’t?  what if i don’t know how?

ALL - God, help us learn to feel

 

 blessed are the meek,  for they will inherit the earth. 

we want to be the one who isn’t always butting into the front of the line, who isn’t demanding &self-centered.

we want to move more slowly, so that maybe we can see better

we want to be the car that changes lanes letting others merge onto the road.

the one who asks but is willing to wait.

ALL- God help us learn what it means to be gentle in a harsh world.
 

blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,  for they will be filled. 

we want to stand up for what is right, take action for our friends

reach out to those that have been pushed aside and down

be a defense

ALL- God help us be bold and advocate for others
 

blessed are the merciful,  for they will be shown mercy. 

we want caring hearts. compassionate hearts.  forgiving hearts. soft hearts.

hearts that can hold the breaking heart of another

hearts that offer grace, hands that offer help

ALL- God help us be vessels of mercy and grace
 

blessed are the pure in heart,  for they will see God. 

help our pride erode to humility 

peel away our hardness

discard the  moldy, unusable pieces, then unveil the deep inside, that which matters most

ALL– God remove what’s getting in the way

 

blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. 

teach us to forgive

to be healing balm in places of strife.

to  lay down our guns & our need to win

to keep walking alongside the prisoners of war when we want to hide behind the barracks

ALL – God, help us be known as promoters of peace.  

 

blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

help us remember that you know what it feels like to be misunderstood, mocked, rejected

for we feel like rejects

we have tried to be more like you and we only feel less.  and lost

teach us how to count this as gain when every part of us thinks we’re failing.

ALL – God, may their misunderstanding of us mean that we have a better understanding of you.

God, turn us upside down and inside out.  may these ways, sink deeply into our hearts, our lives in ways we’d never dreamed.

ALL - AMEN.