Archive for the ‘healing’ Category

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KARL - The Lazy Paralytic

Monday, November 1st, 2010

the-lazy-paralyticParalyzed people are lazy. They just sit around all day; some hardly even move a muscle. I saw one that was so lazy she had a motorized car that she controlled by breathing into a straw. How bad is that, too lazy to even push a button?

That is what it sounds like to me when people equate personal healing with personal faith. I cannot remember a time when someone asked me if I believed enough that felt like a gift, but always an accusation.

The following are my answers to the person who says “if you had more faith, God would heal (or bless,  give a job to, find a spouse for, etc) you”

1. It is your fault

According to scripture (perhaps my least favorite way to begin a dialogue, but I will make an exception in this case) in Mark 2, it was the faith of the paralyzed man’s friends that caused Jesus to heal. So actually if YOU had more faith I would fine.

2. I don’t want to be healed

This one works best with personal healing and jobs. Simply say “No thanks, I like things this way,” and the conversation will end abruptly.

3. My faith is growing, not shrinking

No one likes to think about this one, but it seems the scriptures often equate faith with endurance, the ability to love and believe God in the midst of hard times. The problem is this gift, as it is called in James, is given only to those who suffer. Thus, if I were healed I would lose the training that suffering provides.

4. It takes more faith to not be healed

Which is harder, to believe I am loved by and special to God when He gives me what I want when I want it, or to not have what I want and still believe?  The ones with the strongest faith believe in the relentless love of God in the midst of evidence to do otherwise.

5. I don’t believe this time

This may sound strange, but I don’t think God always does want to heal and I do not want to pester Him.  When my children were little and asked why their sibling got something they did not, I would always say “because I love them more”. It was an mplication, and since I was never able to give a satisfactory answer I just gave up and owned the accusation.

Nothing will adequately soothe the wound, often by well-intentioned friends, of the accusation of lack of faith. It stings, but if it is especially painful feel free to reply, “yea, and paralyzed folks are lazy.”

Posted in faith, healing, karl | 5 Comments »

RICHARD - Hello. My Name Is …

Monday, October 25th, 2010

My parents named me Richard. They liked that name, but they also said that they wanted to be sure I had a name that other kids wouldn’ t make fun of. So from early childhood I was called Dick. Go figure. They led sheltered lives.

When I was about three, a babysitter came in to get me after a nap. She found me in my crib, saying over and over, “ Dickie’ s a baaaad boy.” We laughed about it in the family – and I hasten to add that family life was good, stable, loving, affirming – but somehow negative self-talk has always been a part of my life.

On June 23 I had a devastating personal crisis and attempted suicide. I spent almost two weeks in a psych hospital, trying to deal with a jumble of powerful emotions: remorse, guilt, shame and fear. My prayers were more like screams and sobs. But God was there, trying to get through to me. Over the next several days, with baby steps and setbacks, fear began to yield to hope, and shame subsided a little bit as I experienced grace. I have a long, long way to go.

During intake at the psych hospital, I had told staff that I wanted to be called Dick. But two days later I asked them to call me Richard, and I introduced myself to fellow patients with my birth name. I came to the Refuge as Richard. My old name is becoming my new name.

There are many change-of-name accounts in the Bible. Abram and Sarai become Abraham and Sarah. Jacob becomes Israel. Joseph becomes Zaphnathpaaneah (look it up! Genesis 41:45). Simon becomes Peter. Saul becomes Paul. Names carry meaning.

I looked up the meaning of my names. “ Richard” means “ powerful ruler.” (My fellow patients started calling me “ King Richard,” which was weird and wonderful and embarrassing.) “ Dick” is listed simply as a nickname for Richard. But you know it has other meanings.

I don’ t mind if people call me Dick; my family and some of my dearest friends call me that. But it’ s also associated with some painful stuff. “ Dickie’ s a baaad boy.” A scared, awkward, timid little boy and a shamefully addicted adult. I want to re-claim my birth name, Richard. I’ m not sure about “ powerful ruler” – but I know this: I can claim no power except God’ s power, and no authority other than Christ ruling in me. It’ s astounding to me to think that God – knowing me through and through, knowing what I’ ve done, knowing my ugliest secrets, still says to me (and to you!) “ I have written your name on the palms of my hands” (Isaiah 49:16).

Adrienne Rich wrote this:

Either you will go through this door
or you will not go through.
If you go through
there is always the risk
of remembering your name.

For decades I’ve called myself names: slimeball, disgusting, evil – even while pretending to have it all together. I’ m about four months in recovery. Sometimes it feels like no recovery at all, with the negative self-talk crowding out all other thoughts, with remorse, fear, and self-loathing engulfing my mind, body and spirit. But a little bit more each day I get glimpses of grace. It hurts like crazy, but it’ s starting to feel more like healing. I want to reclaim the name that God has for me.

This isn’ t really about “ proper names.” How you and I introduce ourselves, what it says on a birth certificate or a driver’ s license, what a nickname means to us – none of that is important compared to the name that is written on the palm of God’ s hand. Whether my name is Dick, or Richard, or Zaphnathpaaneah, is not important compared to God’ s dream for me. My name, at best, is a metaphor for who I am, or rather, who I am becoming, in God’ s grace.

D. J. Butler wrote a lovely worship song that speaks to me on this journey:

I will change your name:
You shall no longer be called
Wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid.

I will change your name
Your new name shall be
Confidence, joyfulness, overcoming one,
Faithfulness, friend of God
One who seeks My face.

Thank you, God, for the Refuge, where people whose lives have been shredded by what has been done to them and by what they have done, are claiming the new life that you have for them. Thank you, God – for knowing everything there is to know about me, and yet calling me Beloved.

Posted in community, healing, hope, identity, recovery, richard | 8 Comments »

STACY - The sound of progress

Monday, August 9th, 2010


A couple of weeks ago in July, I was a counselor at a bereavement camp for kids up in the mountains of Colorado.  Even though it was my second year, it still totally took my breath away to drive up to the scenic view, complete with rustic wooden cabins nestled in the midst. The beauty, for me, however, isn’t just in the picturesque scene, but also in the super hard work and deep relationships that take place at Camp Comfort, intended for emotional support.

Literally in the middle of the 1st night, there was a minor emergency that I needed to immediately resolve without disturbing the peace.  The hardest part, actually, was that I needed to quietly navigate through a cabin in the dark, without waking up 25 really-insanely-hard-to-get-to-sleep 3-6 year old girls and their exhausted counselors.  My flashlight was also playing a winning game of hide and seek, so I was acutely aware of each and every sound my body made as I navigated through the dark maze.

As I was coming down the old, creaky, wooden stairs, back to our room, it made me think how my intense need to keep as quiet as possible was not much unlike an emotional healing process. Sometimes in pitch black, potentially full of splinters, not so comfortable, and, well, audible when least expected. However, still ultimately headed somewhere brighter.


Here are some sounds of progress that I have heard over the last two weeks:
“I was… wrong & I am very sorry.”
“It hurts, and I need help”
“I really miss my mommy”
“I thought I was all alone”

Words of repentance, words admitting a need for interdependence, and words that show the true beauty of raw honesty are all part of a collective chorus towards freedom.  In my experience, healing & recovery is rarely quiet, or without squeaks & creaks along the way. However, I am trying to remember, that for myself as well as for my friends, that there is so much power in the journey, not just the ethereal destination. My hope is that we listen well to and for the sounds of healing in each other; in ourselves.

What do you hear when you think of the “sound of progress” in your life?

Posted in healing, recovery, stacy | 4 Comments »

TAMI - So???

Monday, July 5th, 2010

So….I’m sitting here on an average day–no shocking headlines or famous dead guys to quote today. I do, however, have a few ponderings rolling around in my head….I’ve prepared for you a special something straight from my heart of Tami-ness (smirk). And just to make it more special (ahem), I write to you from a psychiatric ward in CO, as a patient. Yes, from a hospital. Yes, I’m broken.

Some may wonder why in the world I’m writing here: What authority do I have?

What special insight or knowledge do I have? I, of all people, should have
less margin to say much of anything about faith, life or spirituality since I’m obviously poor in all aforementioned areas, correct? I’m too sick to speak!

Well, so???

I have plenty to say, and I’ll let you decide if it’s worth reading–I’m on a journey, and whew, is it a handful. I can attest to ONE SURE THING as a result of my travels thus far:

We need each other!

This crazy, sweet thing I call “my healing community” is not an optional
accessory for the trip. I stand and give the screechy battle cry: “brother, sister–I NEED you! You NEED me! let’s both admit we’re busted at least a little and get together on it!”

Healing community is not for the faint-hearted (Bible-ese for “sissies”). Can we not all hang out with each other, us who are hurt, tattered, tired, and just “do life” together? Jesus does it with us every day….And nobody can claim to be anything other than imperfect. Whiners, cheaters, abusers, the dirty, impoverished…?

If the Church is a hospital (and it is), and we are broken (and we are), then each of us is a PERFECTLY well-suited match for Jesus! Welcome to the fam! Come in. Speak. We want to hear about what he’s doing in your broken corner of the world…

So???

Posted in body of Christ, community, healing, tami | 8 Comments »

STACY - Identifying with Humpty Dumpty

Monday, June 14th, 2010

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All of the King’s horses and all of the King’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

In our Summer House of Refuge, we are re-visiting the Twelve Steps together, and we are in the process of working through them individually and collectively. Hang around us refugees long enough, and you will most likely hear various stories about how influential the practice of doing the work of the steps has been.

* * * * *

When I was in graduate school, one of my core classes was called Addictive Disorders. As a course requirement, we were to attend a 12 step meeting, and write about our experience. My friend Laura and I faithfully went to our AA meeting (which met in the same strip mall as a bar ? How hard would that be?!). While it was never overtly stated, you better believe that we wanted to make sure to the rest of the group knew we were just visitors. Addiction? Noooo. Trouble? Bah. Ignorance about what it means to live out the hard truth of Step One? Um, for sure.

Step One: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.

We defined in our Summer House of Refuge that “addictions” could also be deemed as unhealthy coping mechanisms. That language actually helps me connect deeper with this whole 12 step process, in a more personal way. While the struggle with alcohol and drugs are not a part of my story, I definitely have my fair share of unhealthy coping mechanisms to add to the table. Since unrealistic personal standards, as well as unhealthy perfectionism are a part of my battle, it is really important for me to see how that relates to my role in community.

The nursery rhyme that tells the brief story of Humpty Dumpty makes me think in a lot of ways, about Step One. Minutes prior to the critical fall, Humpty appeared to have some things going for him. At the top of a high place, happily minding his own business, and, well…. whole. Not much control in the process at this point, and like us, not too happy when things become unraveled. My guess would be that the descent for Humpty was super traumatic, especially since all of his community couldn’t do the work to piece him back together. The work of the 12 steps needs to also  be done individually, yet we can be truly supported by our fellow sojourners. However, we have much more hope, and thankfully, there are 11 more steps.

Like Humpty, the falling, or admitting we are not together, may very well be the beginning of a new, and uniquely beautiful story.

Posted in healing, houses of refuge, journey, relationships, stacy | 3 Comments »

SAGE - Happy Birthday, Church.

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Pentecost celebrates the birth of the church by the Holy Spirit, which came (just as Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would be with us) to all of his followers in a common experience.

The timing of this is 50 days (Pentecost means “fiftieth” in Greek) after the resurrection of our Lord. It mirrors the Jewish feast of Shavuot which celebrates the Holy Spirit’s gift of the 10 commandments to the community 50 days after the Exodus.

Now this great wind of the Spirit happened after Jesus had shown up in the flesh after his resurrection, visited with folks, ate meals together, and loved on them and encouraged them, and “left” (his ascension into heaven).  At the Refuge a few Saturdays ago, Karl and Kathy pondered why Jesus didn’t just stick around after the resurrection. After all, he could have lived like a rock star!  But that was never what Jesus was about. Thru him (Immanuel, God with us), he gave us one another, in the presence of the Holy Spirit.  A gift that God is with us, with each other, thru each other, a gift we share among us and to the whole world.

I’ll drop it down a couple of gears here and be personal with this.  The theology and symbolism is very pretty, but what is my experience with this stuff?

I didn’t grow up expecting much of the Holy Spirit, or of the church, but had hope that they might be real in some way.  My first touch of the power of both of them came at my surprise 1st communion (age 10) with folks from a little Lutheran church on retreat in the woods, along with some Jesus freaks who had randomly showed up in a VW microbus.

Since that time I have had just a very few more very powerful and personal experiences of being touched by the Holy Spirit.  Every one was a complete surprise. One was an overwhelming revelation of the power and beauty of the Reality of God (the kind that brings you to your knees), and another an unbelievably fiery healing experience which was really strange.

Before my experiences, I had heard about stuff like that, but doubted that it was real.  Even if those things might be real, they probably wouldn’t happen to me-  I am too much of a skeptic.  But I have been touched and healed anyway, and I am grateful.   These things are personal, but they have turned me outward–into community.  It is not all about my “personal relationship with Jesus”.  Most of life is lived in normal time anyway, normal experience, and that is how it should be.  What is amazing is how the Holy Spirit turns normal time into sacred time, especially in community.  That is something I am seeing more and more.  I don’t really know what is possible with all of this, but I think a heck of a lot more is both possible and real now than I did before.

We have been given the most intimate relationship with God (body of Christ, bride of Christ).  We are now a family built on Love.  Brothers and Sisters we truly are, and to do well with that requires a commitment to relationship.  The work of being real (not easy, but good).  The learning of justice, kindness, and humility.  And an anticipation of the Love and power of God with us, and among us, now.  Happy Birthday, Church.  You are beautiful.

Posted in church calendar, healing, holy spirit, sage | 1 Comment »

STACY - Enough, already!

Monday, May 17th, 2010

So…um , I hear things.

Well, at least from a purely clinical perspective, I know that I am not schizophrenic, seeing as they are not “audible” voices. Also, I have unfortunately not had imaginary friends since I was a younger version of me.

But…. I still hear voices. Well, more accurately, one loud inner voice. My own. A meaner and way less content version of me.

Thankfully, my own positive self-talk is often loud enough to drown out the voice that robs me of joy and peace. However, when it doesn’t, it can be almost paralyzing. I hear that I am not at all alone in this phenomenon, and that others experience the self-imposed insecurity. The clincher is that these vindictive messages are often directed towards the most vulnerable places inside. Some would call this part of the psyche the “inner child”.

There are various arenas in which the concept of the inner child manifests, from basic psychology to codependency to comedic sitcoms to the 12 step movement. Each recognizes the theories from early childhood and how so any issues stem from negative residual memories of youth.

From my childhood, both from circumstances as temperament, I developed a fierce self-reliance and a strong inner world. For the most part, my independence serves me well.

The double-edged sword, however, it that while I rely on myself for approval, it often comes at the cost of much internal criticism. The core message for me, if I am not aware of my tendency towards self-doubt is “You are not (will never be) _________ enough.”

The truth is, I would never, ever, ever say any of the things that linger through my head about to any of the children I have in my life. In fact, I take every opportunity to speak positive esteem into their lives. I am leaning into the fact that it is as important to reiterate those affirmations to my own heart, and to yours.

I am also learning to give myself the same clear messages that I speak to others. Remembering that I, we, deserve the same care that healthy little ones receive. To a newborn baby, we don’t demand perfection, or set unrealistic standards of performance. So, really, at what point to we allow ourselves to feel enough, already?

The bottom line is that the voice that takes away confidence is really not worth listening to. At all.

In this season, I am growing deeper, and allowing myself to see more good, more wholeness, and more of a “settled” self. Let the beauty of this verse sink in, and may you delight in the beloved inner child within.

We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

~ Colossians 1:9-10 The Message

Posted in healing, spiritual formation, stacy | 2 Comments »

KARL - Healing Fatigue

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

Saturday night at The Refuge we are focusing on the season of Easter and signs of life and hope.  This past weekend we discussed Jesus’ interaction with a crippled man at the pool. “Do you want to get well?” is how Jesus opens the conversation. One might think that must be rhetorical, just a polite starter. But of course, I doubt that. Perhaps Jesus really wants to challenge the man’s thinking and inertia with this question.

Lately I think I am tired of the healing process. I am tired of having to relearn and rethink my identity. I am tired of having to evaluate so much, live in my head so much. I am tired of trying new things, of learning new ways to live. Even though it is positive change I am experiencing, still I am in this place where I don’t want to go to a meeting, share a feeling or take a drug. But, I do want to get better, so the struggle continues.

How does a person get better? I am sure each person has a list of what has worked for them, but with rare exception it was preceded by the desire to be healed.

I don’t think I have ever said out loud, “Nope- don’t want to be any better, thanks.”

But I have often said, “ I don’t have time for a meeting, I cannot afford a therapist, I am not a morning person, I need some time just for me.”

As you reflect on this thought, this season where new life is trying to rise up in dead, crippled places–what has been your way of answering the question, “Do you want to get well?”

God, I get so tired of thought-wrestling.
Change is hard.
Give me the courage to engage in this hard work.
Give me the courage to feel.
Let me see it as a sign of life. A sign of faith.

Help me to see this struggle as drawing me closer to you.
And to others.
Remind me that you are with me.
Give me others who will understand.

amen.

Posted in healing, karl | 3 Comments »

Walking the Labyrinth

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

Walking the labyrinth provides an opportunity to be attentive to God’s presence in new and fresh ways.  For many, the labyrinth is a new tool but even for those who have experienced it before, each entry into the labyrinth can be an opportunity to encounter the Divine in a new way. The labyrinth has only one path to the center. There are no dead ends or wrong turns. Everything on the path is a metaphor for life’s journey.

Once a month we are offering a time to walk the labyrinth together in the Denver/Boulder area. A few who went in January share these reflections about their first experience.


AA: At First Glance

At first glace, the labyrinth looked like a regular maze design painted on a concrete floor.  As I entered, however, I realized I was entering an experience that would reach into my very soul.  I took a deep breath and began shuffling slowly through it.  As I walked back and forth; following the path, I contested being distracted by the others who were also in the labyrinth.  It was quiet in the room.  I knew the path I was on would eventually lead me to my destination (the center).  But I kept gazing towards the center, strategizing a faster way to get there.  At the center, I would be able to sit down, reflect and refresh.  But like my life, I had to follow all the turns, walk over all the cracks and stay within the path.  I became cognizant I was not alone in my labyrinth journey.  The others were also following each turn, crack and path; just as I was.  It allowed me to remember that in my life journey, I am also not alone.  I felt a sense of peace with this awareness.  It comforted my spirit.

As I eventually arrived at the center, I felt ready to receive what I was going to take away from my labyrinth experience.  If I had hurried or found a short-cut, I wouldn’t have had the capacity to fully refresh.  Just as deoxygenated blood returns to the lungs to receive fresh oxygen, I was ready to receive.  I did sit down in the center and began to reflect on my life.  I was grateful for each turn and crack because they required me to slow down.  My soul was finally quieted.  I was still.  I was at peace.

As I began to saunter out of the center and work my way back towards the outside of the labyrinth, I was like reoxygenated blood being pumped out of the aorta of the heart to the body.  Ready to give.

MJ: Life’s Labyrinth

Reluctantly, I faced the path in front of me. Resistance flooded every part of me.
So unfamiliar the path. So alone. Grief washed over me, for the loss of all that was familiar. Tears came and went and I realized I could no longer stand on the sidelines of my life. And I stepped into this new labyrinth of my life.

Fear, uncertainty, irritation quickly came over me, at all the loops and turns. Then a nice long stretch brought some comfort to me. “This isn’t so bad”, I realized, about a quarter way thru, “I can do this.” Pausing for reflection, I felt the solidness of my feet on the firm ground. Trust began to flicker and grow stronger- from a source too Real to limit with human words or ideology.

My breathing slowed and a keen awareness of walking gently in my own space enveloped me. And yet I could sense the nearness of others and felt trust for their journey as well. Separate, distinct sojourners, yet so unified in spirit it was palpable. I finally reached the center—a place of rest and reflection. Must I leave? Despite the deep attraction to remain in the labyrinth center, a growing sense of joyful anticipation began to pull me back toward the path to the outer world.

My pace quickens, the longer pathways feel like I’m skating along, carefree and joyful.
Suddenly, the pathways are short with multiple hairpin turns and I must slow down. Wisdom whispers to me “go slowly in this season; see all the sharp curves still ahead for you.” I oblige, knowing the path will again smooth out in the distant future. Patience grows.

With each step back towards the outer labyrinth, the integration of my inner world with my outer world strengthens. Integrity and wholeness grow. Yeah, I made it! Back in the outer world, I rest gratefully in the sun. Peaceful, I felt a renewed confidence that my life’s labyrinth is a good path to be on, one step at a time.

JH: The Cracked Path Continues

In anticipation of a time of serenity I was eager to step on the path and have a little bubble of peace. It seemed like the labyrinth would be a good discipline for me to stay in the present moment, know God’s presence, and experience the metaphor of my journey in a way that brings peace and insight.

As I entered the labyrinth, instead of being able to find a nice meditative pace for walking and breathing, I noticed I was gasping for air and trying to hold back a cough, hoping my bad cold wouldn’t disturb others! I remembered the 3 movements on the labyrinth journey are “release, receive, and return.” I could be mindful of those. Soon I felt lost, unsure of the direction I was going. The labyrinth path winds around and doubles back over and over again. Each turn required courage to keep going. I seemed no closer to the center. It looked like the entire journey would be about releasing and relinquishment. Sadness and fear. The cracks in the cement seemed to speak of imperfection, things gone wrong, yet soon, this actually became a great comfort to me. In spite of the cracks the path was not deterred and continued on its way. I rubbed my foot over each crack as if to say, “The cracks are okay. They won’t prevent me from reaching my destination.” Eventually the assurance came to me, “God, you are with me in the ‘cracks’ as well as the ‘perfect’ parts of the path.” I needed to know that.

When I got to the center I didn’t want to leave, but after a few minutes gathered the courage to start out again. At the points where the path crossed over to the other quadrant of the design it seemed to be especially symbolic of my journey. I knew I needed God’s help and presence to cross over to what is next. When I exited the labyrinth path I was tired, but was enjoying the sense of God’s presence. It had not been the little serenity bubble I expected, but was an amazing time with bits of insight and surprise. There was no outcome to control or predict, so it was as it should be for this visit.

They say the labyrinth is very user friendly. You cannot get lost nor can you fail. You go along at your own pace and listen to the inner voice. After all it’s your metaphor!

Posted in healing, journey, prayer | No Comments »

KATHY - gratitude heals

Monday, November 16th, 2009

for the past few saturdays we have been focusing on the word “gratitude”.  for some, i have heard that it stirs up bad feelings–“here we go with the guilt–yeah, no doubt i’m probably not thankful enough.” for others, it is a reminder of how easy it is to forget how much we have to be grateful for–that life, circumstances, and all kinds of other things can block us from noticing what is good, what we do have to be thankful for despite what’s hard.

personally, i like the focus on gratitude.  i am not ashamed to say that i like the good ol’ cheesy alcoholics anonymous saying to cultivate “an attitude of gratitude.” i think there’s no downside to this principle.  but i also fully recognize that it’s not always easy to do.  let’s face it, sometimes we just don’t feel it.  we can’t see what is, we can only see what isn’t.  we can’t muster up a feeling that isn’t there.

still, regardless of the obstacles to gratitude, i think it does something powerful inside of us.  gratitude heals.

karl facilitated a couple of saturdays ago & focused on this passage in the gospel of luke 17:11-19:

As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria.  As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance,  crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!” He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy.  One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!” He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan.  Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.”

what he shared really struck me.  first of all, only one out of ten thanked Jesus for their immediate and powerful healing.  one out of ten. i think that’s telling.  i have no idea what was going through the other leper’s minds, but i find it interesting that the one that went back to offer thanks was the “foreigner”, the “outcast”, the “less-than.”  hmmm.  something to ponder.  i wonder if the others felt entitled to the healing?  or maybe they just got busy and went home and meant to say thanks but forgot?  i have no idea, but i do love that this one leper returned and offered his gratitude.

we will never know the ins and outs of what happened in that moment or what part of the leper’s heart Jesus saw, but karl pointed out an important thought:  maybe, what Jesus meant when he said “your faith has healed you” is “your gratitude has healed you.” he was already healed when he went to Jesus, cleansed of the ravages of leprosy.  but maybe, just maybe, the gratitude he held in his heart provided some healing power, too.

to me, the word “healing” can be interchanged with “transformation” or “change” or “shifts in our hearts.”  i think when we are thankful, when we give thanks–either out loud or in the quiet places of our hearts–that something changes, transforms, shifts inside of us.  it somehow heals.

it is so easy in the midst of dark, dark places to focus on what isn’t instead of what is. of all the things we don’t have instead of the things that we do. of all the things we wish were different.  i am also keenly aware of people in the midst of horrible, ugly, seemingly unredeemable situations who somehow can find light & be thankful for it.  i do think things are better for them.

i believe the scriptures help remind us of God’s heart for us, of a better way than we would conjure up on our own.  i am not so sure that God needs our thanks.  yeah, i am sure he appreciates it but really he’s probably okay without our strokes.  i really think God calls us to thankfulness because somehow he knows it will change us, transform us, heal us.

and that’s God’s heart for us–healing, transformation, change, hope.

yeah, gratitude heals.

Posted in healing, kathy | 2 Comments »

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