Archive for the ‘community’ Category

a few thoughts on community

Tuesday, July 14th, 2009

here are a few thoughts to ponder as we focus on “community” over the next few weeks at our saturday gatherings.

“ We shouldn’t seek the ideal community. It is a question of loving those whom God has set beside us today. They are signs of God. We might have chosen different people, people who were more cheerful and intelligent. But these are the ones God has given us, the ones he has chosen for us. It is with them that we are called to create unity and live a covenant. We choose our own friends; but in our families, we do not choose our brothers and sisters; they are given to us. So it is in community life.”  Jean Vanier

“When Jesus sent his disciples out on mission, he told them to be poor, to take nothing with them. And he told them to do things that were impossible for them to do all by themselves. So it is for all missions. Communities and their members are called to be poor and to do impossible things, such as to build community and to bring healing, reconciliation, forgiveness and wholeness to people. Mission is to bring the life of God to others, and this can only be done if communities and people are poor and humble, letting the life of God flow through them.” – Jean Vanier

What are some of your responses to these thoughts on community?

KATHY - my love-hate thing with community

Monday, July 6th, 2009

heart drawn on wallover the upcoming saturdays this summer at the refuge we will be focused on the word “community.”  i wrote this post way back when in august 2006—at the very beginning of the refuge.  sometimes it’s fun to revisit past thoughts and see how they apply today.   one of the most important things about the refuge, in my opinion, is how we are learning about God & ourselves through being in community with each other.  i think that was always the idea of “the church”.  and yes, we can probably all agree—true community, real redemptive relationships with each other, learning the ways of both giving & receiving love, will always be hard  to do!  let’s keep learning together.

Everyone who knows me knows I love community. I love relationships. I love people connecting with God and each other. I love to see someone who thinks they are unlovable start to feel loved because I remember how much that meant to me a long time ago. But it’s not just a love thing. Please do not think I have some crazy idealistic view of community, thinking it’s a piece of cake to pull off. Real community is brutally hard, maybe one of the hardest things we can do as human beings.

Every church values community, this is nothing new. Look on every church website and you will see a list of small groups and ways for community to “happen” at a church. Why are so many strategies necessary to pull off “community”? Why is it not just our natural bent to want to be together, love each other, share our lives with each other, and reach out to others and love them, too?

Because we are all messed up. Most of us have a love-hate thing with community. I know I do. I want it. I want people in my life, to know how I’m really doing, to care about me, to pray for me, to carry my burdens when they are too heavy for me. And I also don’t want it. Why? Because it’s hard. It’s easier to go solo. Having people in my life exposes me. They see things I don’t really want them to see. They force me to think about things I don’t want to. It means I will have to sacrifice time, myself. It means I will have to trust, risk, and I’m a scaredy-cat at heart.

Like most of us, I’m sort of in this double bind. I love community. I want it. And at the same time, I hate community.

Here’s why I hate community:

1. It’s time consuming. I’ll have to be inconvenienced.

2. I am sure to get hurt.

3. It forces me to think about things differently. Everyone won’t agree with me (what’s wrong with them?) and that stinks.

4. It messes with my self-centeredness.

5. I’m asking to be annoyed, irritated, frustrated, angered, disappointed.

6. I’ll let others down, fail them, disappoint them; I’m a tried and true people-pleaser, so this is asking for trouble.

7. I’ll actually have to ask for help.

8. I won’t be able to fake it.

9. It won’t be neat and tidy (what I’m always longing for). In fact, it’ll be messy, crazy, hard and unpredictable.

Okay, so with all of these negatives, is it really worth it? I think so. For me, the loves are definitely starting to outweigh the hates.

Why I love community:

1. It’s worth the time. Jesus was about people, bottom line. Relationships are what matter. At the end of the day I won’t remember my job, my house, my stuff. I’ll remember the people I loved and that loved me.

2. It’s a place to practice becoming a better lover—of God, of people. I definitely need a place to practice. How can we live out the 2 greatest commandments Jesus gave us…“love Him, love others” without at least trying for close, intimate relationship with each other?

3. It inspires me to keep going. The courage you have—to keep fighting, living, trying—makes me want to, too.

4. The laughter. Without it, I don’t know where I’d be. It is sustaining. Life is too hard without it.

5. I can talk grace and forgiveness until I’m blue in the face, but unless I have to give it, receive it, it means nothing. I want it to mean something.

6. It keeps pointing me toward God. The more I hang around other people and listen, I am forced to think more, ask more questions, seek, wonder, question, wrestle.

7. It is glorious to be up close and personal with Jesus moving in a life, changing a person, healing, bringing hope. Nothing is more beautiful.

8. You seem to keep loving me no matter what, and for that I am very grateful.

So what do you hate about it? Love about it?

JENNY - Remind me

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

child whispersI am drawn to the contemplative writers. Contemplatives (since early Christian times) generally are given to periods of deep silent prayer, meditation, and may even live a life devoted to prayer in a monastery or convent. They carve out quiet spaces in order to experience the soul’s union with God. Many contemplatives also seek a balance between work and prayer. I recently set aside a lengthy time from my schedule for finding some balance and restoration for the health of my body, mind, and spirit. I was carving out my own quiet space. I thought of it as my “soul sabbatical.” I couldn’t wait for this time of meaningful solitude.

The first 2 weeks away (in GA) would be for helping my mom. The first week my husband would be there, too. After that I would stay at the lake house 45 minutes from her home and be available if she should need me. This was a time to assess her long term needs in a more realistic way than I could from my home in CO. Meanwhile, I could have a time of solitude and reflection and enter into the process of actively listening to the Holy Spirit.

I sort of divided my day into blocks for reading, praying, working (cleaning, gardening, etc.), creative expression and relaxing I took along a small library of books for my reading times. I got a new camera to give serious attention to re-developing my long-time love of photography. I packed my sun hat, sun shirt and sunblock for working outdoors. I took my ipod and speakers, my journals and pastels. I planned for everything I might need, including my favorite spices to cook with.

There were some specific requests I had for my time alone with God. There are some things I have considered irreconcilable, and I wanted to understand how to live my life with what can be reconciled and to recognize what can’t. Ultimately I wanted to remember who I am, so I asked God, “Remind me who I am.”

In all my planning I didn’t count on the series of mishaps, severe weather, and unexpected battles with creepy creatures that happened. But most of all I didn’t plan on people. I felt the silence and trickery of God (and I say this in the most loving way!) Except for a few small sightings, I didn’t think God was speaking. I didn’t have much chance to hear him because people kept showing up to interrupt my solitude.

People from my past came out of the woodwork. We spent time together and reconnected. They told me stories I had forgotten. There were God stories and funny stories of crazy stuff we did. One by one they described my impact on their life. And it was…gulp…positive! They updated me on people we both knew that I haven’t seen in 35 years! They shared their own stories with me and listened to mine. There is no way I could have orchestrated getting in contact with two of the people that God brought around. That’s right, I said, “God brought around”, because that’s how I see it now.

In my desire to reconnect with God and myself, I had no desire to connect with people. I did want to hear the Holy Spirit, but was surprised that he chose to use people to speak to me. People I knew, who knew me–not just writers whose profound words I could reflect upon. I am a big proponent of community, but ironically, I didn’t expect community to be a way God would answer my prayer.

I got very little time alone or time to rest on my “soul sabbatical.” I did get to see the entire spring season in GA with all of its glorious beauty which helped to restore my soul. And I was reminded of who I am, in a most unlikely way. I’ve found that it’s hard to really know who I am outside of the context of community and relationships–who I am with people. I believe we are put here to remind each other of who we really are. That began to happen for me on my trip.

Has it happened for you?
Have you reminded anyone else lately?

stand by me

Monday, May 11th, 2009

as we continue our conversations on justice this month, part of the challenge is to learn from each other, to value a diversity of voices, to recognize how desperately we all need each other.

check out this video:

extensions of the refuge

Monday, April 27th, 2009

window with web designa few weeks ago at our 3 year birthday party we created a space to share all of the different ministries, organizations, kids, and missionaries we support locally, globally.  the beauty of sharing is a reminder of how far and wide our little community extends its heart in tangible ways.  many were missing that evening, but here’s what people wrote.  if you have more that didn’t make it here, add a comment.  may we continue to be generous with our money, our time, our hearts…

ministries people support:
·         milehigh ministries
·         home-pdx
·         restoration village
·         christians for biblical equality
·         torn curtain arts
·         dry bones
·         cherish uganda
·         international family missions
·         oasis international
·         servants in Christ
·         compassion international
·         world vision
·         K-LOVE
·         come let’s dance
·         young life
·         mountain area pregnancy care center
·         joshua station
·         hope2others
·         beautiful savior lutheran school
·         mercy ministries

sponsored children:
·         6 thai kiddos through lightbridge international
·         2 kids in ethiopia
·         1 in mexico
·         evab in kenya
·         children at cherish uganda
·         caroline & sacki & sanu in uganda
·         pushba & 1 other in india
·         humphrey in tanzania
·         2 absolut adut
·         christian in ecuador
·         yasmita & 1 other in guatemala
·         1 in el salvador
·         1 in dominican republic
·         jackson in mumbai

missionaries supported in other countries & the US:
·         saudi arabia
·         nepal
·         thailand
·         uganda
·         russia
·         middle east
·         something that starts with a “w”!
·         seattle
·         denver
·         salt lake city
·         oakland

volunteer time at:
·         westwoods elementary
·         cambridge
·         dry bones
·         joshua station
·         the grange
·         boulder county
·         denver women’s prison
·         MOPS
·         st. louis
·         the refuge

KATHY - bread

Monday, April 6th, 2009

breadlast week karl facilitated a conversation around the upper room table at our weekend gathering about bread.  Jesus said ‘i am the bread of life. whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” john 6:51.    i missed part of the conversation, but got to catch up a bit on this thought when i finished reading “take this bread” by sara miles this past weekend (one advantage of being layed up with extreme back pain: lots of time to read!)  what a great story about what can happen when an atheist walks into a church, takes communion, and enters into the wild and crazy journey of following Christ.   an open table.  food for the hungry.  tasting and seeing God in unexplainable ways.  creating a food pantry where hundreds come every week to get food, break bread together, and practice what radically inclusive community can look like.  there were so many powerful images in the book that resonated with me related to community, “church”, and what it means to be the body of Christ here on earth corporately, individually.

with easter week upon us it was exactly the reminder i needed of the power of Jesus’ body & blood to transform. and for us, the “church”–his body here on earth–to touch and heal, too.   there were so many great lines in the book, too many to mention, but here are a few highlights:

“what i heard, and continue to hear, is a voice that can crack religious and political convictions open, that advocates for the least qualified, least official, least likely; that upsets the established order and makes a joke of certainty.  it proclaims against reason that the hungry will be fed, that those cast down will be raised up, and that all things, including my own failures, are being made new.”  (prologue, xv)

“all of it pointed to a force stronger than the anxious formulas of religion:  a radically inclusive love that accompanied people in the most ordinary of actions–eating, drinking, walking–and stayed with them, through fear, even past death.  that love meant giving yourself away, embracing outsiders as family, emptying yourself to feed and live for others.” (p. 93)

“you can’t be a Christian by yourself”  (p. 119)

“but faith working through love:  that could mean plugging away with other people, acting in small ways without the comfort of a big vision or even a lot of realistic hope.  it could look more like prayer:  opening yourself to uncertainty, accepting your lack of control.  it meant taking on concrete tasks in the middle of confusion, without stopping to argue who was the truest believer.” (p. 162)

“i remember what a sad, drunken visitor to the pantry had told me once.  ‘thank God,’ he said earnestly, ‘thank God for Jesus.  because, you know, he was here like us, so he knows how hard it is to be a person. he must have a sense of humor about us.” (p. 172)

“this is where i found my faith:  a faith expressed in a wild conceit that a helpless, low-caste baby could be God. that ugly, contaminated and unimportant people embody holiness.  that my own neediness and misfitting, not my goodness or piety, were what God intended to use.” (p. 222)

“they wanted, in fact, church: not the kind where you sit obediently and listen to someone tell you how to behave, but the kind where you discovery responsibility, purpose, meaning.  they wanted a church where they could bring their sorrows, their gifts, their entire messy lives:  where they could find community.”  (p. 214)

which ones resonate with you?

i’ll end with this, a prayer sara miles wrote for her community that is the desire of my heart for our little refuge community, that we’d be bread….

“O God of abundance, you feed us every day.

rise in us now, make us into your bread.

that we may share your gifts with a hungry world,

and join in love with all people, through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (p. 163)

IRENE – What I Learned on the Bus

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

 

busI recently started a new job in downtown Denver.  A friend suggested I take the bus.  I have been spoiled by my warm cozy music filled drive to and fro so it never occurred to me to take ‘the bus.’   Somehow I felt that taking the bus was a measure of my success…if I had to take the bus I wasn’t doing too well.   However after receiving my first paycheck, I realized it was time to give up my pride and start looking at life in reality versus the illusion I had created that I was better somehow.   I started to take the bus and it has been a blessing.   I’ve met the nicest people,  I don’t have to drive on 36 and I-25, I save money on gas and parking, I watch the sunrises and sunsets, I read, listen to music…I gave up my  pride and received an amazing blessing!

This small change has led me to reflect on what other areas in my life have not progressed because I have held onto  pride.  What have I missed out on because I didn’t  consider ‘what if I respond in a new way,  make a new choice”?   What if I forgive, have mercy, forget the past and look forward….instead of holding on so tightly to my way?

I think about Peter the Apostle and what his consequences were because of Pride.  He was broken and broken and broken until he finally came to a place of surrender.  He ultimately came to a place of the greatest love of all–Jesus–but he had to go through the hell of his making because of his ‘ego’, his ‘pride’, his control! 

As I look back on my life, now living half of it,  and think about how many times I chose pride over surrender,   I wonder if I had taken the path of surrender to God’s direction, leading, love, what my life would look like today?

Because of pride I lost a 25 year marriage.   My pride stopped me from getting the counseling I needed for dysfunctional behaviors growing up in an alcoholic family.    After a hard divorce and a two year rebound relationship I finally went to my first Adult Children of Alcoholic meeting.    The false image of myself was not working anymore and I was causing harm to myself and others when all I wanted was to give and receive love.  Through the years my pride held me back from seeking the support I needed from others and community.  I thought I could do it alone, be self sufficient  and I did not ask for help because I didn’t want to appear weak.   Pride in my life has led to judgment and prejudice!   

 God is now showing me that humility, love and honesty are the loving ways to the abundant life I long for in my heart.  Thomas  Merton says it well, 

 In humility is the greatest freedom.  As long as you have to defend the imaginary self that you think is important, you lose your peace of heart.  As soon as you compare that shadow with the shadows of other people, you lose all joy, because you have begun to trade in unrealities, and there is no joy in things that do not exist.  When humility delivers a man from attachment  to his own works and his own reputation, he discovers that perfect joy is possible only when he has completely forgotten himself.  And it is only when we pay no more attention to our own deeds and our own reputation and our own excellence that we are at last completely free to serve God in perfection for His own sake alone.

My pride has also kept me stuck in my past.   If I keep looking at the past and what I should have done or what I have lost, I will continue to stay stuck.   I believe God has heard the prayer of my heart for change and He is gradually bringing  me to  the simpler, humble life.   I make less money, have less material things, and less of many worldly things.  I believe Jesus is bringing me to His truth–His secret to joy – living with Him in simplicity and freedom.  He is calling me to cast my burdens on Him and rest.   I am learning that when all is taken away I come to the crossroads:  to take the path of rehashing the past, doing life my way or to see the glimmer of light, the eye of God in the clouds, saying “can’t you see I am showing you what you have been praying for….peace, joy, freedom.”    Being stripped gradually of worldly support systems is showing me what Jesus meant when he said “to die to your old self and become new so the walls are removed and  we can truly love each other” so I can love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul and truly love my neighbor.    Jesus is transforming my heart to respond in a new way.    He is knocking down the walls of pride in me .  

Each day I have a choice….. to choose acceptance rather than blaming;  love instead of  rejection; friends and community instead of sadness and isolation; mercy, compassion and forgiveness rather than anger and resentment.   I desire Jesus ‘way!

I am learning that I am not on earth to serve myself but to serve God and when I do everything works.  I have to trust and not cling to things but cling to God and let go in faith.  

Thank you Jesus for your patience and love.  I  love you.  Thank you for what i am learning on the bus.  

 

an evening of hope

Monday, February 16th, 2009

post it noteslast sunday, february 8th, we had an evening of reflective stations to wrap up our series on hope.  it was a beautiful evening of hope & connecting with God in all kinds of ways.  several of the stations had questions about hope. here are some of the collective responses:

What causes you to lose hope??

When something goes wrong
Looking at me. Focusing on my stuff
Human forgetfulness
When I take my eyes off Jesus
That I am not forgiven
Feeling isolated and overwhelmed
When circumstances don’t change and I pray and pray
Forgetting I’m just a small part of a big beautiful picture
Circumstance after circumstance going awry, going awry going awry
Fear
Life circumstances
Circumstances, bad luck, other people
Depression, The past (at least the ugly parts), struggle without relief
Time
Death

What does hope look like?

A child’s laugh
A baby’s laugh
Others willing to listen
It looks like a ray of sunshine piercing acloudy sky
The kingdom is real and present
A strong urge inside to perpetuate anything good
It looks like a smile, a smooth easy path
Like an unexpected phone call, someone wondering how I’m doing out of the blue
My daughter that is her middle name
It looks like a hug
“The love that fills my heart after forgiveness”
A way through the desert
Friendships

Where does hope start?

It’s like a light at the end of  a dark tunnel
The rock–God
Hope begins when any journey begins
In the beginning God
I think it starts in unexpected and different ways. Sometimes inside and sometimes outside. Always God.
At the bottom
Something unexpected
Smiling eyes
No fear rather being confident in what I’m doing and God has my back
With a ray of God’s presence in your life at that moment of despair
God uses friends and a word to light the fire of hope
Hope starts with introspection and maybe analyzing God’s goodness and faithfulness
Honest safe friends
Belonging in something that is bigger than me
Hope starts with Jesus
With a conversation with a safe person that later may turn into talking with God
A tree full of crisp, sweet apples, just ready to be eaten
One more step one more breath one day closer to heaven
Waking up

When hope is lost, how can it be regained?

Crying out to Jesus
In everything with praise and thanksgiving.  God know your needs
By asking safe people to remind me of what is good
Ask a safe person. Ask God. Ask and it will be given seek and you will find
Reaching out and letting others know your feelings
By crying myself to sleep and asking God questions and being still
Staying in community   The Bible
Through the eyes of community
Never ending? looking away from ands toward God, like Mack did in The Shack book. Community with Safe real people on the way
Consciously seeking glimpses of God
Looking to the word of God and praying
Spend time with God and in prayer and in His word
By looking to the Author of Hope-Jesus
Making a decision to receive hope by remembering
I’m still working on this one
Staying in and crying out

After communion, here are some things people wrote on stones about how they were feeling:
peace    hope    solace    weak    despair    healing    Jesus    loved    fear    new puppy    comfort    grace and love    cherished    very grateful    ok together    reserved hope    love is the key    my hope is his blood flowing in me    freedom    thankful for grace from my friends    willing    wanting real bread    total    immersion in Jesus    there is hope    not alone

thank you, God, for your Hope.



TAMI -Some Thoughts on Hope

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

hope armband

“The hope of the afflicted shall never perish”
- Psalm 9:18

The Refuge did a short interview on Hope with Tami. Here are some of her thoughts:

how would you describe where you are in your life when it comes to hope?  are you feeling a little of it?  a lot of it?  why?

I feel a little of it.  Hope is one of those things that has a life of its own for me. Hope doesn’t depend on any one person to need it, make it, conjure it up, give it to others (though lending hope is totally do-able), or anything, …  it is already within each of us, a God-given enigma to live and survive without losing any part of ourselves.  It’s nice this way, because its existence doesn’t matter at all whether or not we feel it. If there is one miniscule bit of it anywhere to be found in us, it will bust out of the darkest places in infinite quantities to get us from one dark place to something human, even if for just a moment. Very frequently this is brought about in the context of community, through another person who takes a moment to just qualify the fact that another person is living, breathing, valuable, and hurting in that moment.  And a moment is everything when we humans are suffering–  and so hope is our last, best, only line of defense against darkness.  Good thing it doesn’t depend on us…

when you think of the word hope, what do you think of?

I think of one of the most uncontrollable, powerful forces of the universe.

what makes you afraid to hope?

Some of my experience tells me that things really can and will get bad– the floor does fall through. And then comes the fear that the lies are true–that God might leave me alone to die there.

what brings you hope?

Others who know my struggle and weaknesses, but who still know and can still see who I really am, even through seeing me at my worst, and then remind me, help me, get my bearings straight again so I can move on without condemnation for where I just was.  Moving forward, being able to bounce back with the truth of some good.

how have you “borrowed hope” from others?  what difference has that made in your life?

Borrowing hope is like the fastrack out of despair. Hope already exists and will find everyone somehow in moments, but when borrowing hope, both parties have to choose to do this.  Borrowing hope simply means letting my guard down just long enough to let another person give me a quick glimpse of something good that makes it worth getting to the next moment and letting all the possibilities take hold.  Mind you, it is HARD to let it happen when I’m in the midst of darkness. But it’s a lot like an opportunistic infection–  the moment it finds the right place, then is exposed to spread in an environment that’s made to grow that infection…  it spreads like wildfire, which is why I say that only God can have anything to do with it.  Humans just aren’t able to do this stuff…only to let it happen.

there’s no way to define the mystery of “hope” but what are some ways God tends to bring some of it to you?  what does that look like, feel like, taste like?

It’s something good and true that sets off that thing God put in me, so I can make it a little longer through the darkness.  For me it’s a hug or someone who knows me telling me the truth about my identity when I’m confused there, or that weird feeling behind my cheekbones that I get when I really cry hard and nobody is mad at me for doing so.  Or that relaxation and warmth of being able to just be still and lie there without a fight and grieve— to freely be able to feel and know it won’t hurt my chances for a spot in heaven or in a loved one’s life.

what would you say right now to someone who’s feeling hopeless?

What you feel is just fine, and I don’t want you to stop it.  I can see you even through all the dark you feel.  I’m perfectly fine with you being here and you’re worth staying with through it.

what would you say right now to someone who’s feeling hopeful?

Cool.  Relish it, grow it, and hold that thought—you, or someone else. will need it later.

DREW - O Prisoners of Hope

Monday, January 19th, 2009

light at the top of stairsI have had the pleasure of sharing my life over the last 2 years with some very special people who have touched my heart and my life in so many ways.  As I begin to write I write with them in mind and the tremendous amount of hope that they have given me over these last two years and the courage to finish a race that at times simply seems to daunting and confusing to continue to run.  It’s their own stories of hope and love that spurs me on.  If you are reading this blog you are most likely one of those people or connected to us in some manner as the Body of Christ, thank you.

When I was asked to write about hope it didn’t take long before Zechariah 9:12 ran through my head.  I don’t mean to imply that I might be a biblical scholar with an extensive liturgical scholarship in theology because I am far from that and trust me that is a good thing for your sake and I am convinced for mine as well, however, I did ask the Holy Spirit why he or she reminded me of a verse that was likely drilled into my head by a earthly father with every good intention that his son might know love of God.  So let me share a little bit with you about what the Holy Spirit has shared with me and then we can let the games begin.

So you can get the context:

“11 As for you, because of the blood of my covenant with you, I will free your prisoners from the waterless pit. 12 Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you. 13 I will bend Judah as I bend my bow and fill it with Ephraim.  I will rouse your sons, O Zion, against your sons, O Greece, and make you like a warrior’s sword.” Zechariah 9:11-13 (NIV)

I love these verses partially because I am a sucker for poetry but beyond the beautifully written word and poetic prose lies a deeper meaning that stirs the ancient areas of my heart.  Zechariah was one of the minor prophets and it is no wonder that he used the phrase “O prisoners of hope.” His ministry to the nation of Israel was during their exile back from Babylonian captivity to rebuild Israel and the temple that the Babylonians had destroyed.  It’s no wonder that the meaning behind his name meant “The Lord Remembers”. How appropriate that The Lord (Yahweh) is the the covenant name of God and is an everlasting testimony of faithfulness to his children whom he never forgets and always Remembers.  Zechariah along with his fellow countrymen have lived in the confines of the Babylonian Empire under the leadership of Nebuchadnezzar forced to worship false gods. Later the Israelites were released to freedom and back to their homeland after Cyrus the Great of Persia conquers the Babylonians and then on top of it all he writes a decree to allow them to live out their faith in freedom and rebuild the temple.  Cyrus encouraged them to proceed and so they started to establish the foundation of the new temple and it seemed like everything was going great and then all of the sudden the Samaritans want to get involved in the building process and the Israelites told them to butt out. Well, the long and short of it was the Samaritans got their feelings hurt and their panties all in a wad and started spreading lies about the possible Israelite rebellion that would result due to the resurrection of the temple.  The powers to be got wind of this and shut it down.  I can only imagine the disappointment that the Israelites felt at this point in time.  They had endured years of abuse in a foreign land under the rule of a crazy man and then they were finally set free to go back to their promise land and permitted to worship their God in freedom. Began to rebuild the temple and someone falsely pulls the carpet out from underneath them.  I think I would have felt like giving up too!  Then hear comes Zechariah proclaiming the voice of God and sowing seeds of hope among the destitute and broken-hearted not only that the temple would be re-built but that their Savior was coming soon and that he would redeem all that they had lost and return it to them two fold.

As I was reading this I was thinking Zechariah had a hell of a job trying to sow seeds of hope to a distraught and destitute nation and all by his lonesome –how did he have the strength to do this?  Well he wasn’t alone. He had a friend and confidant in Haggai, another minor prophet who had seen the actual destruction of the first temple all the way through to the present time.  I’m sure they both leaned on one another in so many different ways and encouraged and exhorted one another to help see their countrymen to the end of this struggle to rebuild their temple so that they could worship their true Father in freedom.  Any time there is a one and another ‘one another’ there is community and community is where hope thrives and somehow there always seems to be enough hope to see us through.  When I think about the temple that the Israelites rebuilt I think about our hearts and the rebuilding that goes on daily.  The Israelites finally rebuilt the Temple the temple in 516 BC. Construction of a new temple was begun in 537 BC; after a hiatus, work resumed 520 BC, with completion occurring in 516 BC and dedication in 515.  If you remember from earlier the rebuilding of the Temple was authorized by Cyrus the Great and ratified by Darius the Great. God’s faithfulness and the community that surrounds us gives us hope that one day freedom might be restored.  Even though we experience restoration in portions of our hearts, just like the Israelites did with the temple, doesn’t mean we are exempt from pain and suffering, in fact, Christ said we would continue to experience trouble (John 16:33) and that suffering that results from the trouble that we experience teaches us to love more deeply, and through that love we give others hope to take one more step.  That’s not the end of the story nor the end of what Zechariah wrote to the Israelites.  In 70 A.D. the Romans destroyed the temple a second time and to this day the Jews are hoping that it will be restored once again when the Messiah returns.  Zechariah 14 is the prophecy concerning the second coming of Christ and the final restoration of the temple.  Pretty cool story. I tried to tell it as I understood it and I hope it leaves you encouraged.

Finally I will end by sharing with you something that happened to me in the fall of ‘08.  I have struggled with SA since I was a young kid and the last several years God has surrounded me with a great community of people both men and woman who have loved me and created a safe place for my heart to heal.  I suffered the consequences of a lost marriage and as I have grown and healed over the years the prospect of dating has come up.  I certainly keep hoping that one day I might be able to remarry and have a family. It’s a deep desire that I have had to put on hold for a long time, but now that I’m here I still hear the lies that tell me that I am damaged goods and that I could never love or be loved enough to sustain a relationship so I remain stagnate. It has been a difficult transition for me and probably one of the scariest things that I have faced most recently. This last Fall I relapsed. Usually when that happens I isolate and hide, but this particular night I decided to do something different and it snowballed into something more than I would have imagined –something redemptive.  I decided to go to the Refuge. They were having a dinner that night so I kind of hung out in the foyer trying to be as discreet as I possibly could and I am really good at that, trust me.  As I hung out and watched people getting their dinners and sitting around fellowshiping I saw this peculiar older gentleman walking around in what looked like fatigues and a mohawk with all kinds of cool earrings and tattoos.    It definitely got my attention, but then again the Refuge is a melting pot of everything and everybody that’s what makes it so good.  I just thought to myself it must be a new guy and continued to people watch.  About 5 minuets later Kathy got up and started to introduced a friend of hers that she and Karl had met up in the NW and then asked him to come up and share a little bit about himself.  It was the new guy I saw.  I thought to myself “this should be interesting cause you never know who Kathy’s going to bring even though it’s usually always good” and just by his looks alone he seemed like a helluva character. I was intrigued to say the least.  Well he got up and no kidding he said the following,” Hello, my name is Ken and I have 22 days of sobriety from alcoholism……”  I lost it inside I started to tear up and the feelings of loneliness and shame slid right off my back.  Under my breath I said thanks Ken, I only have 30 minutes but I know I’m not alone any more.  I can’t really describe to you the rest because it would take too long and I don’t know that I could put words to it that would do it any justice, but I did get a chance to talk to him a couple of days later and found out he had a heart bigger that the state of Texas and a huge burden for the homeless.  Earlier that evening his wife Deborah shared with the group and I was blown away by the fact that she had stayed with Ken all those years even though he had struggled with his addiction for so long.  You see I have always bought the lie of perfection: kick the addiction then you will be acceptable enough, otherwise you’re just damaged goods that nobody wants.  That was clearly not the case and Deborah and Ken were living proof that challenged the lie that I had lived with for so long.  I’m generally a pretty private person and a little bashful with people I have never talked to before, but I felt a deep need to thank Deborah for loving Ken despite his battle with alcoholism, and I’m not sure how this works but by loving Ken she loved me and gave me hope that one day I might be married and loved for Drew, the good the bad and the ugly, and not for my goodness alone.  Later I spoke to Deborah and told her what I had shared with Ken about my journey and what she had done for me by loving Ken and how much it meant to me.  She smiled and thanked me and said that no one had ever told her that before then she gave me a hug and said she was hopeful that someone special would come into my life soon.  I wrote Ken later because I wanted to share with him a quote that I had found that I thought represented their love for one another….

Any way here is the note I wrote:

Ken,
How are you doing? I wanted to write you and Deborah and thank you for your time spent with us here in Colorado. I enjoyed talking with you Thursday night and wanted to let you know that you really spoke to my heart and give me hope. I looked up the quote from CS Lewis that Deborah gave during her talk and found that it came from a Sermon that he gave in 1941 called “The Weight of Glory”. I love CS Lewis and have enjoyed reading his works when I can keep up with him sometimes his thought are quite deep and it’s a daunting task to understand what he’s exactly trying to communicate, but he always has some amazing insight. I came across another quote the other day and thought of both you. I hope it is a blessing to you as you continue to be a blessing to so many others. I’ll keep you both in my prayers, take care.

“Loving all of it even while he had to hate some of it because he knows now that you don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” -William Faulkner

With Love, Drew

I love Ken and Deborah and I love the body of Christ.  It’s amazing the amount of hope there is when we love despite. It’s the message God gave Zechariah in 520 BC and it the same today. God bless you and when things go south try to remember you’re loved, O prisoner of hope…