Archive for the ‘church stuff’ Category

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KARL - Speed: Expectations of the Mega-Church

Thursday, March 15th, 2007

What is fast? I think I know because God has given me a gauge, an internal and irrefutable indicator of too much speed. It’s called the constricting sphincter. I remember riding with my friend who believed he could “feel the road,” so 67 mph around one lane mountain passes made all the sense in the world. I chewed a hole in his seat. I understand that speed is inherently a subjective and biased opinion. “Hey, I think we need to slow down” can be heard in planes, board rooms, back seats, athletic fields. But what about churches and God?

I was reflecting recently on the one year anniversary of my departure from mega-church employment and what is different now. The question arose, “what has been the biggest shift in what you believe?” It is about speed. I was pre-disposed to think that people change very quickly. A single sermon, or at the least a series, is all it takes to get things moving in the proper direction. One or two weeks of being stuck, just add a little spiritual fiber (prayer, Bible reading, and solid preaching, the evangelical elixir) and presto, unstuck. A few years of being stuck, you might need to throw in a few extra scoops of godly Metamucil—extra time with me as your pastor offering my eloquent wisdom and maybe a good book to read about your ailment, and voila! Ahh, movement. My apologies, I seem to be a bit stuck in the lower hemisphere for my analogies today. Suffice it to say the expectations in mega- church world are that people should very quickly resolve what it is that ails them.

One of the issues that lead to my demise of employment was I have some unresolved childhood stuff. I am insecure, frightened at times, a compulsive people pleaser and so on. But way more grievous is that I thought it should be talked about. I will give you a quote upon my departure “you need to go away with God and get this resolved before you are qualified to preach.” Get ‘er done! What is funny, is that the powers that be would think I had never tried that! Trust me, I would take an instant, miraculous healing in a second.

The shift in my perception and ability to pastor that has become the most noticeable this past year: take what you or your church believe to be the proper amount of time to experience change and simply multiply that number by 100. Change is a factor of 100 times slower than what you thought. Churches are in danger of subtly communicating the opposite, especially when all of our stories are of the victories we have and the quickly resolved issues. We begin to create communities of people who believe they are spiritual freaks, they are not like others because although they love Jesus and have begged for change, it still seems so far away. Real change takes time, and time isn’t all that glamorous. Let’s face it, The Refuge, it ain’t all that glamorous. It is sometimes ugly, frustrating to see a lot of pain and have it not be resolved quick enough for us to feel comfortable. I feel the same way about my journey of change, too. I want it to be neater, cleaner, and certainly more triumphant.

So we continue to hope for the simple fix. Just think for a moment how many times you have sat in church and you heard this preface to what it is that plagues us: “well, all you need to do is….” One problem, one solution, and fast!

When I hear that sentence, I start to cramp up, way too fast.

Posted in church stuff, healing, karl, mega church craziness, theology | 2 Comments »

PAUL - Stage Lights

Tuesday, January 16th, 2007

Ok, first off, it’s important that you know that “stage” lights are different than “house” lights. When you walk into a theatre or church, house lights are usually already on. They might be recessed lights, track lights or in some cases lamps. After about fifteen minutes pass, these lights dim and instinctively you wrap up any conversations you may have been having about the carpet, or program or video screens and you find your seat. You may sit for a moment in the dark but then…something magical happens! New lights come on! Different than before because although several lights are on in the same room you are in, you can’t really see much of what is around you with any clarity. These are stage lights, they show you what is on stage. Each light is specifically designed to aim, focus, color or restrict light to fit a purpose. Not to show you what is around you, no, just to show you what is on stage. Ok? Can we move on?

Directors, playwrights, actors, musicians and pastors plan and organize words and movements to put under the stage lights to keep you interested and focused on what is on stage and not around you. Occasionally, you may hear a noise like a baby crying or even an adult crying but this is unintentional and ultimately distracting to what is on stage. In moments like that it’s a good thing the house lights are off so you won’t be distracted for long. After you have heard and seen all that the producers of the play or worship service have wanted you to see the house lights will come back on. After blinking your eyes a couple times you will look around, locate the exit, grab your coat, stand and join the line of people heading toward the door. If you came with someone, you will talk about how good or bad the show was regardless of it was a play or worship service. Almost certainly you will have an opinion on the music. You probably won’t think about how many other people there are at the same event until you are in your car in the parking lot trying to merge into the steady stream of vehicles moving to the street. You simply didn’t notice them before… because the stage lights were on. You were watching what was on stage.

So, I was thinking… what if the house lights were left on? What would happen? Would you still watch what was on stage? Or watch something else? How would you feel if you were the person on stage? Would you go on singing? Acting? Speaking? I guess it’s obvious that everyone could see each other not just the people on stage. It would least be easier to see who was crying. And see how far it is from you to them. See how to help. Which might be good or bad…bad, I guess, if you’re at a play… but better, if you’re in a church.

Posted in church stuff, community, healing, mega church craziness, paul | 1 Comment »

MIKE - Dignity

Monday, January 1st, 2007

Christmas Eve at The Refuge was a glorious occasion. Each person’s name was called and we received a wrapped gift, our fourth simple gift of our December series. It contained an ornament that simply said, “Dignity”.

As a middle aged, middle class white male, I suppose I had never really thought much about the concept of dignity. Webster’s says that dignity is “the quality or state of deserving esteem or respect.” Who shouldn’t have dignity? It’s a no brainer. God is no respecter of persons. That means He has no favorites. That we are all valuable, important, worthy. So what is the big deal?.

Society doesn’t tend to think like God. Through the ages many groups have been abused, oppressed and marginalized: The poor. Minorities. The uneducated. The mentally or physically challenged. Women. The list goes on and on. Members of these groups still struggle today for equality and dignity.

As Karl taught, the Word of God again and again hammers home the truth–that we are equal, that we all have dignity. The angels didn’t announce the birth of Jesus to the rich, the learned or the religious leaders. No, it was the lowly shepherds the angels talked to. When Jesus rose from the dead, the first person he spoke to was a woman, not one of the 12 apostles. The Pharisees were not picked to be in the inner circle of Jesus. The creator of our universe picked fishermen, tax collectors, prostitutes and adultresses’. Do you think, just maybe, he was trying to tell us something, to show us a better way?

Unfortunately, many at The Refuge know all too well how it feels to be marginalized because of race, gender, educational or financial status, or maybe a physical or mental disability. I am reminded that Jesus hung out with the marginalized of his day and showed them dignity and love. And he still does. How can we do any different?

Posted in advent, church stuff, community, healing, mike | 1 Comment »

KATHY - Kind Beats Right

Monday, November 6th, 2006

The other day I was driving down the road in the lovely suburbs of Arvada and I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach. An old van pulled into the lane in front of me. It took a minute for my eyes to focus on how weird it looked. Then I got a little closer and realized that huge posters of aborted fetuses were plastered on all sides of the van. They were graphic, horrific, and personally painful. Underneath the photographs were mean and disparaging words about baby killers and God’s wrath. Honestly, the ugliness, the meanness was so shocking that I had to abruptly get off my telephone call and catch my breath. It took me a few minutes to regroup, awestruck by the insensitivity of the images. I can understand the point trying to be made, but why do it this way? In that moment, I was truly embarrassed that I would be associated with this kind of “Christian”.

Lately I have been feeling that quite a bit. In recent conversations, I have been hearing a recurring theme–mistreatment by Christians. Pain caused by insensitive Christians and mean churches. Many have witnessed a huge disparity between what is said and what is done. We know that Jesus taught us to love our enemies, but Christianity has become known in this country as the least likely help to help those with whom they disagree. Gays, liberals, evolutionists, and others perceived to have a world view other than Christian have often felt the wrath, not the benevolence, of those called Christian. Rejected instead of embraced, shamed instead of loved, ignored instead of helped is the pattern. In this past year I have become one of those people—those “wounded by the church.” Take it from me, to challenge the established, large institutional church to value kindness over growth is a sure way to unemployment. The pain is deeper than I ever could have imagined but I can tell you that thanks to the kindness of my dear and faithful friends at the Refuge and other kind Christians these wounds are healing.

This past week I was at a conference in Seattle. It was a wild gathering of radicals who believe in a different way of doing church—a simpler way more focused on what Jesus cared about–the poor, the oppressed, the marginalized. But instead of slick programming, bells, whistles & buildings the higher value is kindness. I have believed the things that they were talking about for a long time but because I was so caught up in the megachurch and all its trappings I didn’t know this crazy underground movement of simply kind Christ followers existed. I felt privileged to sit next to such dedicated people….kind, gentle leaders who didn’t care about big salaries and filling cavernous auditoriums but truly cared about tangibly loving the abused, the beaten, the broken.

In the spirit of becoming more and more like Jesus in this broken messed up world, one of the speakers shared this profound thought: Being kind is more important than being right. These words stung. How often has being right been my primary objective? I have stood on tables, shook my fists, hurt other people, all in the spirit of “being right.” And hey, let’s face it, sometimes I have had a pretty darn good point and the right to feel right. But where did it get me, really? Nowhere except maybe closer to anger, resentment, isolation, unforgiveness. I have found the need to be right to be a dead-end, a lose-lose.

I want to learn to be more kind. I want to extend to my enemies, and those who don’t agree with me, forgiveness and compassion instead of hate and anger. I want to live my life well instead of worrying about how others are living theirs. I want to continually stay in touch with Christ’s radical kindness, mercy and compassion toward me (even when I don’t really understand it) and offer it freely to others. And I guess I keep wondering—why is this so hard to do? Why is bitterness, self-righteousness so much easier for me? I am pretty sure it’s just because I am a human being and inclined toward a hard, self-protective heart instead of a soft and vulnerable one. And bottom line is that extending kindness makes me vulnerable, and I hate to be vulnerable. It’s so scary, risky. But I’ve been imagining how different my world might be if I was a little bit more kind and a little less worried about being right. What if we all were a little kinder to ourselves, kinder to others?

My friend K-Lee has a wonderful tag line on her email…”Be kinder than necessary. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle.” God, help me, help our little community of rag-tags at The Refuge be known for our kindness.

Posted in church stuff, fundamentalism, healing, kathy, theology | 5 Comments »

KATHY - Is there a Doctor in the Church?

Wednesday, September 20th, 2006

I am a broken person. I do things I don’t want to do, I struggle with things I think I should be “over” by now, I don’t love the people closest to me the way I long to, I am selfish. I had better be careful or I will self-destruct. I want to be a better lover of God & people. I want to live out what it means to be a child of God.

Is there a Doctor in the church?

Jesus made very clear that I am the kind of person he wants to help. He said, “The healthy don’t need a doctor, the sick do, and I came for the sick.” He also tells me that I should not try to hide my sickness, which all of us have a tendency to do, especially in “the church.” He tells the Pharisees, the religious leaders of his time, “you worry so much about the outside, why not worry about the inside?” You see, we have always had a tendency toward hiding, toward pretending we’re well when we’re really not. I used to be a great pretender, the master. It’s why I need people in my life who won’t let me, who know that whenever I pretend, I never, ever feel better. In fact, I just feel worse.

If Jesus came for the sick, that means he came for all of us who were willing to say “hey, I’m not doing too well on my own, I think I need some help.” And it takes a lot of courage to say this out loud: “I NEED HELP. I need a doctor.”

There are lots of calls to the Doctor at The Refuge, that’s for sure (hey, maybe that’s why I use so many cell phone minutes???) Some people get scared by us because we are so honest, so raw at The Refuge. They say: “You’re not supposed to do that in church, are you?” I can see where they are coming from because honesty, authenticity, crying out for help is scary. It scares me, too, because it’s so unpredictable, unsettling, challenging. But just because something scares me doesn’t mean I am supposed to avoid it. The world is looking at the church, wondering what it has to offer them. The current American church has earned the reputation of being a place for the put together, the neat, the tidy, THE EXACT KIND OF PEOPLE that Jesus was railing against during his ministry in the gospels. He was pretty clear that he was about the sick, the humble, the needy, the broken, the lost, the ones who knew that without him, life wasn’t going too well.

And sick, broken, lost doesn’t necessarily equal homeless, addicted, divorced, unbelieving. It has absolutely nothing to do with what’s on the outside. It has everything to do with what’s going on inside our heart. And the truth of the matter is, whether we like to believe it or not, we are all pretty messy inside. We all need a Doctor.

Our only hope, in my opinion, is that we get to the Doctor and hang out in his hospital, the real church. I can’t begin to tell you how much healing has happened in my life hanging out in the ER with real, courageous people who aren’t afraid to say “I need a doctor.” It has made me feel so less alone, less afraid of all of the “surgery” that I keep having to have. I used to avoid going to the Doctor like the plague, tried to do it on my own, keep it all together and not need God too much even though I was a “good Christian.” Yeah, it didn’t go so well.

We have a Great Physician, the Healer, the Restorer and I am certain he can bring life out of the wreckage for all of us. And I believe Jesus calls the church, is calling The Refuge, to be a really cool hospital where He can do what He does best…heal, restore, bring hope, new life.

Posted in church stuff, community, healing, kathy | 5 Comments »

KARL - Testa-mints

Friday, September 1st, 2006

I despise the adjective Christian. Do not misunderstand me, I like the noun Christian, or at least it is tolerable. But this habit of labeling everything Christian is sooo confusing. There is this weird, parallel universe that now exists; it is almost like the real world, but in this one, everything is preceded by the prefix “Christian.”

I was at a “Christian bookstore” last week. It was not a pleasant experience. First, there was an overwhelming sense that I suck at being a Christian. From the tone of the titles I have the feeling God is a bit miffed with me because I lack “purpose”, don’t know the “secrets” and have not developed the “leader” within me. For this emotional purging I will focus on the second unpleasantry of “Christian” book shopping–the growing isolation and silliness of sectarianism. The “all things Christian” phenomenon was epitomized by the Christian mints they were selling at the counter. I am not lying! Christian mints! They are called Testa-mints. I suppose they are for casting out the demon of halitosis, and the spreading of the minty fresh good news. For my taste they needed some Christian Pepto-bismol. I felt nauseous.

What does it even mean when someone uses the prefix “Christian”? I think the implication is that the prefix Christian equals pre-approved, you do not have to worry, God likes it. But does that mean if doesn’t say “Christian” it is pagan?

In addition to bookstores and mints, here is a brief sampling of some common Christian prefixes: Christian plumber, Christian coffee shop, Christian art, Christian band, Christian dating service, Christian realtor, Christian news, Christian doctor, Christian cars (or drivers, the fish thing is confusing), Christian amusement park. Trust me this list extends to eternity. Last week I listened to an elderly man from the south describe his entire town as a Christian town.

I propose a moratorium on the prefix Christian. You know from previous tirades how I feel about this tendency for Christ followers to isolate, withdraw, and hide. The whole “us vs. them” thing is getting a bit silly.

If we do not stop this now, where does it end? It will not stop until we have Christian Viagra. (I have paused for several minutes, letting my imagination take me away. I am pretending it is my responsibility to market Christian Viagra to the church. I see dollar signs, big evangelical bucks. I can not reveal the entire campaign in a family blog, but let’s just say you will not sing such familiar hymns as He is Risen, Stand up for Jesus, and Up from the Dead He Arose in quite the same way.)

If we do not cease substituting the word Christian for the life of Jesus we will deservedly appear as ignorant, intolerant buffoons who care about one thing: hunkering down in our own little Christian ghetto, staying safe, unstained.
Interesting note, as I write this I am sitting in a coffee shop. It is owned by a lovely Christian couple. It is one of the more “Christian” shops I have enjoyed, yet there is not one piece of Christian kitsch to buy. Not one bible, not even a single verse of the day. The music is normal, no down with the devil t-shirts or WWJD bracelets. And it is the most eclectic gathering of people around. Just a few weeks ago my coffee was served by a lovely tattooed, lesbian girl with the most delightful demeanor. In fact many folks in my little town, some with really unique persuasions, consider this to be “their” place. It is Christian in this way–customers are loved and valued just as they are, each person is someone to be served, most of all it is safe.

To use the label, the adjective of Christian, is to be lazy and afraid. Not in the history of the world has someone who is hurting and seeking to be loved by Jesus found him by sucking on a mint.

Real Love, the kind I’m pretty sure Jesus meant for us to know and live, is so hard. It takes hanging in there, getting dirty, being present. Maybe that is why Jesus on his last night prayed something like this, “don’t take them out of the world, but empower them to change the world they’re in.

Posted in church stuff, fundamentalism, karl | 6 Comments »

KARL–Church Uniforms

Monday, July 10th, 2006

Here is my proposal: let’s all get church uniforms.

Uniforms are great! They make it easy to recognize who is on your team and who is the enemy. A uniform could help take some of the guess work out of who is “in” and who is “out” , who we are for, who we are against. I will attempt to design a uniform that I think best represents and serves the suburban, typical, evangelical, church (S.T.E.N.CH)

Ok, I think it needs to be one solid color, something light, say peach or barely beige, because brown and black and yellow are not often seen. We like mostly whites.

It should be extremely masculine. It needs to have pants and a zipper, nothing too frilly or even remotely androgynous. You will see woman in attendance at S.T.E.N.CH, but not in any decision making capacity. God made them to be happiest in the nursery, didn’t He?

It needs to be highly flammable, because everyone knows Jesus hates it when you smoke. Enough said.

Pockets are needed, but only the right side. Anything to do with the “left” is disgusting.

I think a nice red, white and blue tie would help make it clear that we are primarily concerned with America.

A small cross necklace, of course empty, without Jesus hanging across it, is a nice
way to say Not Catholic. We are still pretty pissed off about that Rome thing.

It must be medium sized. This is subtle, but we really do not like obese people. Jesus wants excellence, and chubby Christians are just not trying hard enough.

The helmet is critical. It must be able to protect our brains and ears from anything that does not come from our team. Something that would limit our vision and ability to hear would be helpful. “be careful little eyes what you see…”

Finally, winged tipped shoes. Nothing says we are “conservative” like wing tips.

I hope this catches on. It seems critical that we be able to identify who is not on our team. This idea of loving people as they are as the great Christian distinction is just not working very well.

If this fails I have this really cool, secret handshake I am working on.

Ok, I am dying to know your thoughts, so let us know. Anything you would add to the uniform?

Karl

Posted in church stuff, karl, mega church craziness | 8 Comments »

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