Archive for the ‘body of Christ’ Category

TAMI - So???

Monday, July 5th, 2010

So….I’m sitting here on an average day–no shocking headlines or famous dead guys to quote today. I do, however, have a few ponderings rolling around in my head….I’ve prepared for you a special something straight from my heart of Tami-ness (smirk). And just to make it more special (ahem), I write to you from a psychiatric ward in CO, as a patient. Yes, from a hospital. Yes, I’m broken.

Some may wonder why in the world I’m writing here: What authority do I have?

What special insight or knowledge do I have? I, of all people, should have
less margin to say much of anything about faith, life or spirituality since I’m obviously poor in all aforementioned areas, correct? I’m too sick to speak!

Well, so???

I have plenty to say, and I’ll let you decide if it’s worth reading–I’m on a journey, and whew, is it a handful. I can attest to ONE SURE THING as a result of my travels thus far:

We need each other!

This crazy, sweet thing I call “my healing community” is not an optional
accessory for the trip. I stand and give the screechy battle cry: “brother, sister–I NEED you! You NEED me! let’s both admit we’re busted at least a little and get together on it!”

Healing community is not for the faint-hearted (Bible-ese for “sissies”). Can we not all hang out with each other, us who are hurt, tattered, tired, and just “do life” together? Jesus does it with us every day….And nobody can claim to be anything other than imperfect. Whiners, cheaters, abusers, the dirty, impoverished…?

If the Church is a hospital (and it is), and we are broken (and we are), then each of us is a PERFECTLY well-suited match for Jesus! Welcome to the fam! Come in. Speak. We want to hear about what he’s doing in your broken corner of the world…

So???

Posted in body of Christ, community, healing, tami | 8 Comments »

KATHY - camping is the best form of church!

Monday, June 21st, 2010

group at camp 2010

this past weekend was the refuge’s 5th annual camping trip.   for all kinds of reasons, it is one of my favorites.  i think that camping is the highest form of church.

it draws us together as a community in a unique way that our regular gathering can’t always do.

it’s natural & unplugged. just a lot of friends hanging out together, with plenty of time on our hands to just hang out, eat, laugh, talk, nap, be together with no hurry to get home or to the next place.

we share easily. coffee passed around, marshmallows and graham crackers busted out. wood tossed into the pile.  tents and sleeping bags spread around to those who need them.

kids & grownups all mixed up together. everyone’s looking out for each other’s kids.  the kids form new bonds (capturing frogs definitely bonded a big chunk of them together this year, ha ha).  we get to share the load of love and support together.

baptisms, yeah! to me, there’s nothing better than seeing friends take the step that says “i am choosing to follow Jesus and i want you to be part of it with me.”  it’s a reminder to me that God is at work, stirring hearts and moving us in our faith.

there’s no agenda except for being together. that’s one of my favorite parts.  there’s no program, no huge plan, nothing contrived.  just friends together, learning the ways of love.

what’s your favorite part?

Posted in body of Christ, community, kathy | 5 Comments »

extensions of the refuge

Monday, April 27th, 2009

window with web designa few weeks ago at our 3 year birthday party we created a space to share all of the different ministries, organizations, kids, and missionaries we support locally, globally.  the beauty of sharing is a reminder of how far and wide our little community extends its heart in tangible ways.  many were missing that evening, but here’s what people wrote.  if you have more that didn’t make it here, add a comment.  may we continue to be generous with our money, our time, our hearts…

ministries people support:
·         milehigh ministries
·         home-pdx
·         restoration village
·         christians for biblical equality
·         torn curtain arts
·         dry bones
·         cherish uganda
·         international family missions
·         oasis international
·         servants in Christ
·         compassion international
·         world vision
·         K-LOVE
·         come let’s dance
·         young life
·         mountain area pregnancy care center
·         joshua station
·         hope2others
·         beautiful savior lutheran school
·         mercy ministries

sponsored children:
·         6 thai kiddos through lightbridge international
·         2 kids in ethiopia
·         1 in mexico
·         evab in kenya
·         children at cherish uganda
·         caroline & sacki & sanu in uganda
·         pushba & 1 other in india
·         humphrey in tanzania
·         2 absolut adut
·         christian in ecuador
·         yasmita & 1 other in guatemala
·         1 in el salvador
·         1 in dominican republic
·         jackson in mumbai

missionaries supported in other countries & the US:
·         saudi arabia
·         nepal
·         thailand
·         uganda
·         russia
·         middle east
·         something that starts with a “w”!
·         seattle
·         denver
·         salt lake city
·         oakland

volunteer time at:
·         westwoods elementary
·         cambridge
·         dry bones
·         joshua station
·         the grange
·         boulder county
·         denver women’s prison
·         MOPS
·         st. louis
·         the refuge

Posted in body of Christ, community, the refuge | No Comments »

KATHY - bread

Monday, April 6th, 2009

breadlast week karl facilitated a conversation around the upper room table at our weekend gathering about bread.  Jesus said ‘i am the bread of life. whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.” john 6:51.    i missed part of the conversation, but got to catch up a bit on this thought when i finished reading “take this bread” by sara miles this past weekend (one advantage of being layed up with extreme back pain: lots of time to read!)  what a great story about what can happen when an atheist walks into a church, takes communion, and enters into the wild and crazy journey of following Christ.   an open table.  food for the hungry.  tasting and seeing God in unexplainable ways.  creating a food pantry where hundreds come every week to get food, break bread together, and practice what radically inclusive community can look like.  there were so many powerful images in the book that resonated with me related to community, “church”, and what it means to be the body of Christ here on earth corporately, individually.

with easter week upon us it was exactly the reminder i needed of the power of Jesus’ body & blood to transform. and for us, the “church”–his body here on earth–to touch and heal, too.   there were so many great lines in the book, too many to mention, but here are a few highlights:

“what i heard, and continue to hear, is a voice that can crack religious and political convictions open, that advocates for the least qualified, least official, least likely; that upsets the established order and makes a joke of certainty.  it proclaims against reason that the hungry will be fed, that those cast down will be raised up, and that all things, including my own failures, are being made new.”  (prologue, xv)

“all of it pointed to a force stronger than the anxious formulas of religion:  a radically inclusive love that accompanied people in the most ordinary of actions–eating, drinking, walking–and stayed with them, through fear, even past death.  that love meant giving yourself away, embracing outsiders as family, emptying yourself to feed and live for others.” (p. 93)

“you can’t be a Christian by yourself”  (p. 119)

“but faith working through love:  that could mean plugging away with other people, acting in small ways without the comfort of a big vision or even a lot of realistic hope.  it could look more like prayer:  opening yourself to uncertainty, accepting your lack of control.  it meant taking on concrete tasks in the middle of confusion, without stopping to argue who was the truest believer.” (p. 162)

“i remember what a sad, drunken visitor to the pantry had told me once.  ‘thank God,’ he said earnestly, ‘thank God for Jesus.  because, you know, he was here like us, so he knows how hard it is to be a person. he must have a sense of humor about us.” (p. 172)

“this is where i found my faith:  a faith expressed in a wild conceit that a helpless, low-caste baby could be God. that ugly, contaminated and unimportant people embody holiness.  that my own neediness and misfitting, not my goodness or piety, were what God intended to use.” (p. 222)

“they wanted, in fact, church: not the kind where you sit obediently and listen to someone tell you how to behave, but the kind where you discovery responsibility, purpose, meaning.  they wanted a church where they could bring their sorrows, their gifts, their entire messy lives:  where they could find community.”  (p. 214)

which ones resonate with you?

i’ll end with this, a prayer sara miles wrote for her community that is the desire of my heart for our little refuge community, that we’d be bread….

“O God of abundance, you feed us every day.

rise in us now, make us into your bread.

that we may share your gifts with a hungry world,

and join in love with all people, through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (p. 163)

Posted in body of Christ, community, kathy | 2 Comments »

KEVIN - the counselor

Monday, March 30th, 2009

holy spirit stained glassIf you are like me at some point you may have wondered what it was like to be in that upper room with Jesus and his disciples.

When I was living in India I would love to contemplate these things when sitting in a room in the city during a power outage, no fan - just the infrequent breeze cooling my sweat, the room illuminated by candle lights. A myriad of noises coming from outside as folks went about their business. The different smells wafting in from street vendors, mingled with other smells that were not quite so savory. Or I would be in a mud hut in the jungle, contemplating the upper room with the shadows flittering around as the flame of a lamp moved with the breeze. Noises filtering in that I could not recognize that gave me a little uneasy feeling and fanned the flame of fear within me.

I think the upper room must have been a place of differing and complex emotions. In the darkness, noises can bring fear, uncertainty and the unknown. With the folks in the upper room that must have been heightened as they knew the establishment of the day did not want them around and was trying to silence Jesus. The possibility of guards crashing through the door, just like many people around the world today who still occupy similar rooms knowing that the authorities want to get them and silence them.

The people with Jesus in that room must have been very thoughtful. One of those thoughts would have been the hope or expectation that Jesus was possibly going to announce his kingship and raise a call to arms for his followers and the people of the city to seize control of the government. The hope of bringing in a new Kingdom.

I think this upper room was charged with atmosphere. The pictures that I am often shown are of a nice quaint controlled scenario. But where there is emotion there is uncertainty, people on the edge of their seats, unsettled, tense, not too sure what will happen next. Jesus had already told them that someone in their midst was a traitor. What a charged environment!

However, at this point Jesus says I am going away!!!! What a let down that must have been. Talk about sowing confusion and fear. Come on this is supposed to be his time. Then he says that he’s not going to leave them as orphans but will give them a counselor! I think I would have rather had Jesus.

In our little community we were recently looking at this space in time and at the way Jesus comforted and encouraged his people in this depressed period of their lives. He tells them he will give them a counselor, one who will lead them into all truth. If I was them that would not seem to be a good swap. Jesus was supposed to be the truth - why have something else when you can have the real thing? I wonder how encouraged and supported they would have felt.

As people we often desire for that charismatic figure to do the work for us or to physically lead us while we appear in the background. I don’t believe God is into that. Rather I think he wants us to journey on a pathway of personal, emotional and spiritual growth. To be able to personally make use of that blessing and to be a blessing to the community we are part of. To be like Christ rather than have Christ and or others do it all for us.

I think that by giving us the counselor who leads us into all truth God helps us to grow as people. Listening to the counselor helps develop depth in our lives, that depth or as God calls it fruit; is love, joy, peace, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness & self control. Against these sorts of things there is no law.

This counselor doesn’t come in the nice comfortable times of our lives but is there for the untidy, painful times, the times when we screw up. Counselors are to help us follow a path through the challenges, pains and difficulties of life and help us understand or develop through them not so we stay comfortable and safe. God’s dream is not the American, European or any earthly community’s dream. It is a reality of community, justice & love. The counselor asked for by Jesus is one that gives us the intimate words of Jesus and the Father and helps us live in that intimate relationship.

Our little Refuge community has many places that it gathers and one gathering takes place on Monday night. Recently this community spent the night simply praying a blessing for each other. We gathered in a circle, some sitting and others standing by them. Those standing gently placed hands on their shoulders, and after a while we changed places. We sought the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to help us encourage and empower each other. There were different emotions and uncertainties around the circle. People were in different places in their journey. However, at the end of the time it was amazing how words shared by friends under the guiding influence of the counselor had built us up in who we are and in the hope of who we can become.

After we did this we read a short statement that the group had developed and that emphasized our commitment to each other. This statement was put together one night by thirteen different people. Normally it is difficult to get two people to agree one statement. However, on this occasion each person shared a short phrase or sentence and they were collated just as they were. The result continually surprises us. On this night as we read it the words placed another layer of grace and love over our time as we sensed an even deeper encouragement from the counselor, and the words reiterated the whole process we had just undertaken.

Our statement goes as follows.

We come here to be the beloved community, to grow deeper and more centered in Christ as we explore life-forming practices.

We seek to change our image of the Father so that we may view God as Jesus did, as daddy. For Jesus said “… I will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them….”

We desire to be joined to Jesus’ heart. That we may fear God and know what that fear is, comprehend it and acknowledge it. That we may proceed forward in faith and hope, with new hearts similar to that of King David’s.

Knowing God in a deeper and fuller way, trusting God, hearing God & seeing Jesus in others around us. For Jesus said “….. Whatever you have done for a brother, however humble, you have done for me…”

We encourage each other to tell our truth to God as we may remember it and allow that to be a place of safety and honesty. God will meet us there and enable us to grow into and live out the fullness of Christ.

We commit to supporting one another’s faith journey, lifting each other up in prayer, tonight and through the week, listening intently without judgment and being generous with love, kindness and an open heart.

In the highly charged emotional upper room of my mind the Holy Spirit comes to bring counsel, intimate love and truth. May it be so for you as well.

Posted in God's love, body of Christ, houses of refuge, identity | No Comments »

KATHY - to love and be loved

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

wooden heartat the refuge on saturday nights we have been spending some time in the “upper room” with Jesus in the texts of john 13-17 leading up to easter. these are some of my favorite passages of scripture. so challenging. so beautiful. as most of you know, i spend a lot of time thinking about “church”—not church as in a building and a meeting time and 3 songs on power point and a wow! sermon, but church as in the body of Christ, people on the journey, learning to practice the ways of love together. one of the things i always say is that “the church” is a place to love and be loved.

the other night at the refuge we talked about john 13 and how Jesus modeled sacrifice and serving one another in love as he washed the disciples feet. while i do think Jesus demonstrated to us the importance of a life of humility and servanthood as part of following him, i also think sometimes we miss out on the other side: a life of receiving love and care from other people, from God. we talked together how it is probably easier to give than receive. when we receive, sometimes there’s this feeling attached to it that somehow we are supposed to “give something back to make things more even.” we don’t want to be beholden to someone else’s love and care because it makes us so vulnerable. i can so relate to this. i am a much better giver than receiver. i am doing better at receiving, but it is utterly against my prideful nature and shows up not only in my relationship with people but also in my relationship with God.

receiving requires even more humility than giving. the tension between pride and humility will always exist in us as human beings, and i believe part of our spiritual transformation is the ability to love AND be loved. just loving, giving, serving, caring will not cut it and we’ll miss out on so much. just being loved, receiving, being cared for will not cut it and we’ll miss out on so much.

i don’t think it’s formulaic, that if we just learn how to do A and B and C, we have “loving” mastered (and oh how i wish it were that easy!) but i do believe that it is in true community that we have a place to practice. that it will be in relationship with others that we’ll rub against our tendency to harden our hearts, judge, protect, resist, run, hide, and do whatever we can to avoid the kind of intimacy that Jesus modeled at the last supper. and it will also be in relationship with others that our hearts get stirred in ways that we might not have ever imagined, that we’ll see Jesus in the poverty of our friends’ spirit, that we care in ways we never expected to care, that we are somehow supernaturally propelled to step in and love in places that somehow surprise us.

i think relationships with people and relationship with God are all tangled up. as we learn to receive from others, we learn to receive from God. as we love others, we love God. and as we love God, we learn how to love others. it really is a beautiful mess! and none of these relationships are clean and simple and definable and manageable. that night in the upper room i think that is what Jesus was somehow communicating—the tension between pride and humility will always exist and we’ll need his spirit to help us reconcile this tension and let God and others “wash our feet”, whatever that looks like, as we learn to wash theirs.

oh, we all know that is easier said than done! but thankfully, spiritual transformation is an ongoing journey, little experiences along the way where we notice God moving, prompting, challenging, changing us, softening our hearts, and revealing things that probably need revealing.

i’d love to hear some of what God has been stirring up for you lately when it comes to the tension between loving and being loved, giving and also receiving. let’s keep practicing together.

Posted in God's love, body of Christ, kathy | 2 Comments »

IRENE – What I Learned on the Bus

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

 

busI recently started a new job in downtown Denver.  A friend suggested I take the bus.  I have been spoiled by my warm cozy music filled drive to and fro so it never occurred to me to take ‘the bus.’   Somehow I felt that taking the bus was a measure of my success…if I had to take the bus I wasn’t doing too well.   However after receiving my first paycheck, I realized it was time to give up my pride and start looking at life in reality versus the illusion I had created that I was better somehow.   I started to take the bus and it has been a blessing.   I’ve met the nicest people,  I don’t have to drive on 36 and I-25, I save money on gas and parking, I watch the sunrises and sunsets, I read, listen to music…I gave up my  pride and received an amazing blessing!

This small change has led me to reflect on what other areas in my life have not progressed because I have held onto  pride.  What have I missed out on because I didn’t  consider ‘what if I respond in a new way,  make a new choice”?   What if I forgive, have mercy, forget the past and look forward….instead of holding on so tightly to my way?

I think about Peter the Apostle and what his consequences were because of Pride.  He was broken and broken and broken until he finally came to a place of surrender.  He ultimately came to a place of the greatest love of all–Jesus–but he had to go through the hell of his making because of his ‘ego’, his ‘pride’, his control! 

As I look back on my life, now living half of it,  and think about how many times I chose pride over surrender,   I wonder if I had taken the path of surrender to God’s direction, leading, love, what my life would look like today?

Because of pride I lost a 25 year marriage.   My pride stopped me from getting the counseling I needed for dysfunctional behaviors growing up in an alcoholic family.    After a hard divorce and a two year rebound relationship I finally went to my first Adult Children of Alcoholic meeting.    The false image of myself was not working anymore and I was causing harm to myself and others when all I wanted was to give and receive love.  Through the years my pride held me back from seeking the support I needed from others and community.  I thought I could do it alone, be self sufficient  and I did not ask for help because I didn’t want to appear weak.   Pride in my life has led to judgment and prejudice!   

 God is now showing me that humility, love and honesty are the loving ways to the abundant life I long for in my heart.  Thomas  Merton says it well, 

 In humility is the greatest freedom.  As long as you have to defend the imaginary self that you think is important, you lose your peace of heart.  As soon as you compare that shadow with the shadows of other people, you lose all joy, because you have begun to trade in unrealities, and there is no joy in things that do not exist.  When humility delivers a man from attachment  to his own works and his own reputation, he discovers that perfect joy is possible only when he has completely forgotten himself.  And it is only when we pay no more attention to our own deeds and our own reputation and our own excellence that we are at last completely free to serve God in perfection for His own sake alone.

My pride has also kept me stuck in my past.   If I keep looking at the past and what I should have done or what I have lost, I will continue to stay stuck.   I believe God has heard the prayer of my heart for change and He is gradually bringing  me to  the simpler, humble life.   I make less money, have less material things, and less of many worldly things.  I believe Jesus is bringing me to His truth–His secret to joy – living with Him in simplicity and freedom.  He is calling me to cast my burdens on Him and rest.   I am learning that when all is taken away I come to the crossroads:  to take the path of rehashing the past, doing life my way or to see the glimmer of light, the eye of God in the clouds, saying “can’t you see I am showing you what you have been praying for….peace, joy, freedom.”    Being stripped gradually of worldly support systems is showing me what Jesus meant when he said “to die to your old self and become new so the walls are removed and  we can truly love each other” so I can love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul and truly love my neighbor.    Jesus is transforming my heart to respond in a new way.    He is knocking down the walls of pride in me .  

Each day I have a choice….. to choose acceptance rather than blaming;  love instead of  rejection; friends and community instead of sadness and isolation; mercy, compassion and forgiveness rather than anger and resentment.   I desire Jesus ‘way!

I am learning that I am not on earth to serve myself but to serve God and when I do everything works.  I have to trust and not cling to things but cling to God and let go in faith.  

Thank you Jesus for your patience and love.  I  love you.  Thank you for what i am learning on the bus.  

 

Posted in body of Christ, community, healing, identity | 5 Comments »

DOUG - Hope in the Wasteland

Monday, January 26th, 2009

plant in cracked earth
Today I live in the wasteland.
This was not always the case.

There was a time that I had a good, well paying, job as a scientific resource manager. I lived in a nice house in the suburbs. The large backyard opened on open space and was landscaped with beautiful trees. The view was bucolic and restful. I had a wife and two of the best young stepsons you could wish for. We seemed to end up either in Hawaii or the beaches of Southern California at least once a year. I was well respected at my church and considered a lay leader on the path to ordained ministry.
And I was clinically depressed and suffered from anxiety disorder. I was taking SSRIs, bourbon, and therapy in regular doses.

Today I have lost all these things; but, most importantly, I have lost the need for the meds and therapy. (I’ve kept the bourbon. I haven’t achieved Christian Perfection quite yet.)

One thing I have gained is a small measure of hope.

I live in a 1950s trailer with a roommate and often his two kids. I have a near minimum wage job and live paycheck to paycheck. Our landlady wants to raise our rent 80%, which we can’t afford. The chances of a beach holiday are a joke. It’s snowing and cold right now. My married life, family (All my family is dead or estranged from me, the black sheep loser),  and future ordained ministry is ancient history. I cook meals provided by foodstuff from the food bank. And yet I have been released from therapy and I do not need meds for anxiety and depression.

As to hope, the real hope that has been a part of my freedom from depression and anxiety, I have learned one thing and that one thing have helped save my life.

Hope is not about me.

I was a slave to my desires. I desired an important and well-paid job, a wife, a nice home, recognition as a spiritual leader and a secure future. This was all about me. There was no hope there. Hope is not about what we desire but what God wishes for us and God seems to offer His hope through relationship and community.

I finally found hope where I didn’t expect it. I first touched hope in people who took me in when I was homeless. I tasted hope in a brother who helped me find a job when I had nothing. I started to understand hope when I saw God working through others and me in community. A friend called me, his neighbors had been evicted and their life was being carried to the sidewalk by the sheriff. One phone call to another friend and their things were moved to a storage unit, they were offered another way than homelessness. Friends of mine have an autistic child. I have been able to suggest some new venues to lobby, in our state, for more help for families with autistic children. In these and other efforts I have been a small part. But, each time, I have been blessed to see hope in the eyes of my brothers and sisters.

Hope is not about me and what I desire. It’s about God working in my life. It seems that this hope is always in relationship and community. It’s not about getting what I want, be it gross or sublime, but about seeing God’s hand in my life as I relate to my brothers and sisters.

Jesus promised us freedom from slavery to this world. What’s always confused me is that we live in a free country. We can buy a nice house and car, we can take vacations of our dreams, we can raise a nice family in peace… I’ve always wondered what Jesus was talking about. What’s this ‘lilies of the field’ stuff, and why am I clinically depressed and suffer from anxiety?

Real hope and real freedom comes from God. When you see the Holy Spirit working through you. When you see hope through your brothers and sisters. When you give up trying to do it yourself. You may be living in the wasteland, but you are as free as those lilies; no need of SSRIs and therapists.

Posted in Doug, body of Christ, hope | 4 Comments »

DREW - O Prisoners of Hope

Monday, January 19th, 2009

light at the top of stairsI have had the pleasure of sharing my life over the last 2 years with some very special people who have touched my heart and my life in so many ways.  As I begin to write I write with them in mind and the tremendous amount of hope that they have given me over these last two years and the courage to finish a race that at times simply seems to daunting and confusing to continue to run.  It’s their own stories of hope and love that spurs me on.  If you are reading this blog you are most likely one of those people or connected to us in some manner as the Body of Christ, thank you.

When I was asked to write about hope it didn’t take long before Zechariah 9:12 ran through my head.  I don’t mean to imply that I might be a biblical scholar with an extensive liturgical scholarship in theology because I am far from that and trust me that is a good thing for your sake and I am convinced for mine as well, however, I did ask the Holy Spirit why he or she reminded me of a verse that was likely drilled into my head by a earthly father with every good intention that his son might know love of God.  So let me share a little bit with you about what the Holy Spirit has shared with me and then we can let the games begin.

So you can get the context:

“11 As for you, because of the blood of my covenant with you, I will free your prisoners from the waterless pit. 12 Return to your fortress, O prisoners of hope; even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you. 13 I will bend Judah as I bend my bow and fill it with Ephraim.  I will rouse your sons, O Zion, against your sons, O Greece, and make you like a warrior’s sword.” Zechariah 9:11-13 (NIV)

I love these verses partially because I am a sucker for poetry but beyond the beautifully written word and poetic prose lies a deeper meaning that stirs the ancient areas of my heart.  Zechariah was one of the minor prophets and it is no wonder that he used the phrase “O prisoners of hope.” His ministry to the nation of Israel was during their exile back from Babylonian captivity to rebuild Israel and the temple that the Babylonians had destroyed.  It’s no wonder that the meaning behind his name meant “The Lord Remembers”. How appropriate that The Lord (Yahweh) is the the covenant name of God and is an everlasting testimony of faithfulness to his children whom he never forgets and always Remembers.  Zechariah along with his fellow countrymen have lived in the confines of the Babylonian Empire under the leadership of Nebuchadnezzar forced to worship false gods. Later the Israelites were released to freedom and back to their homeland after Cyrus the Great of Persia conquers the Babylonians and then on top of it all he writes a decree to allow them to live out their faith in freedom and rebuild the temple.  Cyrus encouraged them to proceed and so they started to establish the foundation of the new temple and it seemed like everything was going great and then all of the sudden the Samaritans want to get involved in the building process and the Israelites told them to butt out. Well, the long and short of it was the Samaritans got their feelings hurt and their panties all in a wad and started spreading lies about the possible Israelite rebellion that would result due to the resurrection of the temple.  The powers to be got wind of this and shut it down.  I can only imagine the disappointment that the Israelites felt at this point in time.  They had endured years of abuse in a foreign land under the rule of a crazy man and then they were finally set free to go back to their promise land and permitted to worship their God in freedom. Began to rebuild the temple and someone falsely pulls the carpet out from underneath them.  I think I would have felt like giving up too!  Then hear comes Zechariah proclaiming the voice of God and sowing seeds of hope among the destitute and broken-hearted not only that the temple would be re-built but that their Savior was coming soon and that he would redeem all that they had lost and return it to them two fold.

As I was reading this I was thinking Zechariah had a hell of a job trying to sow seeds of hope to a distraught and destitute nation and all by his lonesome –how did he have the strength to do this?  Well he wasn’t alone. He had a friend and confidant in Haggai, another minor prophet who had seen the actual destruction of the first temple all the way through to the present time.  I’m sure they both leaned on one another in so many different ways and encouraged and exhorted one another to help see their countrymen to the end of this struggle to rebuild their temple so that they could worship their true Father in freedom.  Any time there is a one and another ‘one another’ there is community and community is where hope thrives and somehow there always seems to be enough hope to see us through.  When I think about the temple that the Israelites rebuilt I think about our hearts and the rebuilding that goes on daily.  The Israelites finally rebuilt the Temple the temple in 516 BC. Construction of a new temple was begun in 537 BC; after a hiatus, work resumed 520 BC, with completion occurring in 516 BC and dedication in 515.  If you remember from earlier the rebuilding of the Temple was authorized by Cyrus the Great and ratified by Darius the Great. God’s faithfulness and the community that surrounds us gives us hope that one day freedom might be restored.  Even though we experience restoration in portions of our hearts, just like the Israelites did with the temple, doesn’t mean we are exempt from pain and suffering, in fact, Christ said we would continue to experience trouble (John 16:33) and that suffering that results from the trouble that we experience teaches us to love more deeply, and through that love we give others hope to take one more step.  That’s not the end of the story nor the end of what Zechariah wrote to the Israelites.  In 70 A.D. the Romans destroyed the temple a second time and to this day the Jews are hoping that it will be restored once again when the Messiah returns.  Zechariah 14 is the prophecy concerning the second coming of Christ and the final restoration of the temple.  Pretty cool story. I tried to tell it as I understood it and I hope it leaves you encouraged.

Finally I will end by sharing with you something that happened to me in the fall of ‘08.  I have struggled with SA since I was a young kid and the last several years God has surrounded me with a great community of people both men and woman who have loved me and created a safe place for my heart to heal.  I suffered the consequences of a lost marriage and as I have grown and healed over the years the prospect of dating has come up.  I certainly keep hoping that one day I might be able to remarry and have a family. It’s a deep desire that I have had to put on hold for a long time, but now that I’m here I still hear the lies that tell me that I am damaged goods and that I could never love or be loved enough to sustain a relationship so I remain stagnate. It has been a difficult transition for me and probably one of the scariest things that I have faced most recently. This last Fall I relapsed. Usually when that happens I isolate and hide, but this particular night I decided to do something different and it snowballed into something more than I would have imagined –something redemptive.  I decided to go to the Refuge. They were having a dinner that night so I kind of hung out in the foyer trying to be as discreet as I possibly could and I am really good at that, trust me.  As I hung out and watched people getting their dinners and sitting around fellowshiping I saw this peculiar older gentleman walking around in what looked like fatigues and a mohawk with all kinds of cool earrings and tattoos.    It definitely got my attention, but then again the Refuge is a melting pot of everything and everybody that’s what makes it so good.  I just thought to myself it must be a new guy and continued to people watch.  About 5 minuets later Kathy got up and started to introduced a friend of hers that she and Karl had met up in the NW and then asked him to come up and share a little bit about himself.  It was the new guy I saw.  I thought to myself “this should be interesting cause you never know who Kathy’s going to bring even though it’s usually always good” and just by his looks alone he seemed like a helluva character. I was intrigued to say the least.  Well he got up and no kidding he said the following,” Hello, my name is Ken and I have 22 days of sobriety from alcoholism……”  I lost it inside I started to tear up and the feelings of loneliness and shame slid right off my back.  Under my breath I said thanks Ken, I only have 30 minutes but I know I’m not alone any more.  I can’t really describe to you the rest because it would take too long and I don’t know that I could put words to it that would do it any justice, but I did get a chance to talk to him a couple of days later and found out he had a heart bigger that the state of Texas and a huge burden for the homeless.  Earlier that evening his wife Deborah shared with the group and I was blown away by the fact that she had stayed with Ken all those years even though he had struggled with his addiction for so long.  You see I have always bought the lie of perfection: kick the addiction then you will be acceptable enough, otherwise you’re just damaged goods that nobody wants.  That was clearly not the case and Deborah and Ken were living proof that challenged the lie that I had lived with for so long.  I’m generally a pretty private person and a little bashful with people I have never talked to before, but I felt a deep need to thank Deborah for loving Ken despite his battle with alcoholism, and I’m not sure how this works but by loving Ken she loved me and gave me hope that one day I might be married and loved for Drew, the good the bad and the ugly, and not for my goodness alone.  Later I spoke to Deborah and told her what I had shared with Ken about my journey and what she had done for me by loving Ken and how much it meant to me.  She smiled and thanked me and said that no one had ever told her that before then she gave me a hug and said she was hopeful that someone special would come into my life soon.  I wrote Ken later because I wanted to share with him a quote that I had found that I thought represented their love for one another….

Any way here is the note I wrote:

Ken,
How are you doing? I wanted to write you and Deborah and thank you for your time spent with us here in Colorado. I enjoyed talking with you Thursday night and wanted to let you know that you really spoke to my heart and give me hope. I looked up the quote from CS Lewis that Deborah gave during her talk and found that it came from a Sermon that he gave in 1941 called “The Weight of Glory”. I love CS Lewis and have enjoyed reading his works when I can keep up with him sometimes his thought are quite deep and it’s a daunting task to understand what he’s exactly trying to communicate, but he always has some amazing insight. I came across another quote the other day and thought of both you. I hope it is a blessing to you as you continue to be a blessing to so many others. I’ll keep you both in my prayers, take care.

“Loving all of it even while he had to hate some of it because he knows now that you don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” -William Faulkner

With Love, Drew

I love Ken and Deborah and I love the body of Christ.  It’s amazing the amount of hope there is when we love despite. It’s the message God gave Zechariah in 520 BC and it the same today. God bless you and when things go south try to remember you’re loved, O prisoner of hope…

Posted in God's love, body of Christ, community, healing, hope, identity, the refuge | 5 Comments »

Christ has no body now, but yours

Monday, December 29th, 2008

When the song of the angel is stilled,
When the star in the sky is gone,
When the kings and princes are home,
When the shepherds are back with their flock,
The work of Christmas begins:
To find the lost — To heal the broken — To feed the hungry –
To release the prisoner — To rebuild the nations –
To bring peace among brothers and sisters –
To make music in the heart.

- Howard Thurman

during advent we used the following liturgy, a meditation merging the words of Oscar Romero and Theresa of Avila, adapted from jonny baker’s blog, as part of our gatherings in different shapes in form. as christmas is over & we reflect on the new year, may we consider how we can be his hands, his feet, his eyes, his heart:

hands around little feetChrist has no Body now but yours
No hands, no feet on earth but yours
Yours are the eyes through which he looks
Compassion on the world
Yours are the feet with which he walks
To do good
Yours are the hands with which he blesses
All the world.

Yours are the hands
Yours are the feet
Yours are the eyes
You are his body
Planning in the Kingdom
It helps, now and then, to step back
And take the long view.

The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts
It is even beyond our vision.
Lord, we know in whom we believe
We accomplish in our lifetime
Only a fraction of the magnificent enterprise
that is God’s work
Nothing we do is complete,
which is another way of saying that the
Kingdom always lies beyond us.

Lord, we know in whom we believe
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith
No confession brings perfection
No pastoral visit being wholeness
No programme accomplishes the Church’s mission
No set of goals and objectives includes everything
Lord, we know in whom we believe
This is what we are about.

We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted
Knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development
We provide yeast that produces effects far beyond our capabilities.
Lord we know in whom we believe

We cannot do everything
And there is a sense of liberation in realizing that
This enables us to do something,
And to do it very well
It may be incomplete
But it is a beginning,
A step along the way, an opportunity for the
Lords grace to enter and do the rest.
Lord we know in whom we believe

We may never see the end results,
But that is the difference between
The master builder and the worker.
We are workers,
Not master builders,
Ministers,
Not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future
Not our own.

Lord, we trust in you
To eternally renew our belief in you
In ourselves and in each other
In this is our joy. Amen

Yours are the hands
Yours are the feet
Yours are the eyes
You are his body.
Christ has no Body now but yours
No hands, no feet on earth but yours
Yours are the eyes through which he looks
Compassion on this world
Christ has no Body but yours.

Amen.

Posted in body of Christ, kingdom | No Comments »