So…um , I hear things.

Well, at least from a purely clinical perspective, I know that I am not schizophrenic, seeing as they are not “audible” voices. Also, I have unfortunately not had imaginary friends since I was a younger version of me.

But…. I still hear voices. Well, more accurately, one loud inner voice. My own. A meaner and way less content version of me.

Thankfully, my own positive self-talk is often loud enough to drown out the voice that robs me of joy and peace. However, when it doesn’t, it can be almost paralyzing. I hear that I am not at all alone in this phenomenon, and that others experience the self-imposed insecurity. The clincher is that these vindictive messages are often directed towards the most vulnerable places inside. Some would call this part of the psyche the “inner child”.

There are various arenas in which the concept of the inner child manifests, from basic psychology to codependency to comedic sitcoms to the 12 step movement. Each recognizes the theories from early childhood and how so any issues stem from negative residual memories of youth.

From my childhood, both from circumstances as temperament, I developed a fierce self-reliance and a strong inner world. For the most part, my independence serves me well.

The double-edged sword, however, it that while I rely on myself for approval, it often comes at the cost of much internal criticism. The core message for me, if I am not aware of my tendency towards self-doubt is “You are not (will never be) _________ enough.”

The truth is, I would never, ever, ever say any of the things that linger through my head about to any of the children I have in my life. In fact, I take every opportunity to speak positive esteem into their lives. I am leaning into the fact that it is as important to reiterate those affirmations to my own heart, and to yours.

I am also learning to give myself the same clear messages that I speak to others. Remembering that I, we, deserve the same care that healthy little ones receive. To a newborn baby, we don’t demand perfection, or set unrealistic standards of performance. So, really, at what point to we allow ourselves to feel enough, already?

The bottom line is that the voice that takes away confidence is really not worth listening to. At all.

In this season, I am growing deeper, and allowing myself to see more good, more wholeness, and more of a “settled” self. Let the beauty of this verse sink in, and may you delight in the beloved inner child within.

We pray that you’ll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that he has for us.

~ Colossians 1:9-10 The Message

This entry was posted on Monday, May 17th, 2010 at 8:48 am and is filed under healing, spiritual formation, stacy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.