when my dad died at the age of 45, my mom spoke these great words of wisdom to me:
“your father and i were always waiting for something. …until we married. …until he was out of school. …until we had kids. …until you kids were grown. our until never came and now he is dead. live now, don’t wait for the untils to start living.”
at age 41 my wife died, and these words came rushing back into my memory. we had waited until………. fill in the blank. now she was gone.
a buddy and i used to make road trips to vegas and california. we got up early in the morning and started driving, as fast as we could go. the gas station was the only respite. gas,food and a potty break and we were on the road again. we were men on a mission. we had a destination, and nothing was going to stop us from reaching our objective. driving thousands of miles we saw nothing. appreciated nothing. it wasn’t the journey we cared about, it was the end result. on these trips we missed so much. the landscape of the land. the joy of each other’s company. the quiet time with God. we missed the present, because we were looking to the future to make us happy.
in his book “the wounded healer”, henri nowen says:
“we keep hoping that one day we will find the man who really understands our experiences, the woman who will bring peace to our restless life, the job where we can fulfill our potential, the book which will explain everything, and the place where we can feel at home. such false hope leads us to exhausting demands and prepares us for bitterness and dangerous hostility when we start discovering that nobody, and nothing, can live up to our absolutistic expectations.”
outside of God we will never reach the destination that our hearts truly desire. so what are we to do? how can we enjoy the journey? what would it look like to live in the here and now and pay no heed to the future? what can we do to make sure we don’t miss what God has in store for us, today?
in the devotion “the meal that makes us family and friends”, henri nouwen states:
“We all need to eat and drink to stay alive. But having a meal is more than eating and drinking. It is celebrating the gifts of life we share. A meal together is one of the most intimate and sacred human events. Around the table we become vulnerable, filling one another’s plates and cups and encouraging one another to eat and drink. Much more happens at a meal than satisfying hunger and quenching thirst. Around the table we become family, friends, community, yes, a body. That is why it is so important to “set” the table. Flowers, candles, colorful napkins all help us to say to one another, ‘This is a very special time for us, let’s enjoy it!’”
as i read these words, i looked back over my week. an amazing week, but really a typical week. i have made it my vocation to live immersed in community. redemptive community. making time for coffee with friends. going on movie dates. being vulnerable. sharing meals together. small groups. all just vehicles for sharing the landscapes of our hearts. a chance to know and be known. as nouwen says: “the most intimate and sacred human events.”
it would be such a pity to miss these amazing life changing interactions, because my dreams and my heart were in some future destination that may never be attained. my desire this lent is to stay in the present and enjoy and smell all the roses God brings into my journey.
Beautifully said Mike. Soup and bread for Maundy Thursday with dear friends was truly delectable for my soul. Thanks!