Growing up, I kept a deep, hidden secret. Almost too embarrassing to tell until adulthood, I am now ready to come out with it.
I really, really wanted to run away as a kid and be a Brady. Seriously.
Oh sure, I got the fact that it would make it uneven in the male/female ratios. I understood the fact that as a born brunette, my genes did not exactly fit the mold… (but matched with blonde cousin Oliver, we could be the black sheep?!..)
I grew up as an only child in a single-parent home, and once I realized that the Bradys were a myth (not my best day), the fascination with real families grew deeper. When my mom died in 2001, it was the last remaining connection that I had to any biological family. Through a series of events, my need for community was quickly buried by my fierce independence & need to survive. Alone.
*When I am brutally honest, however, the truth remains that the longing to be a (daughter/sister/aunt/distant relative, anything?) is a passionate reality for me.
Moving to Colorado (cue the song “All by mah-sel -y -elf”) was one of the scariest/bravest things I have ever done. Slowly, I am letting myself feel like a real part of community again. Already so very worth it. Refuge community celebrates doing life “family-style”, and that touches a deep , deep place inside. The hope that I have for my new community doesn’t perfectly fit a shiny seventies sitcom, but there are some principles that I long for:
- Real community means feeling like a true part of family, regardless of biological ties.
- Real community means that the whole scripture about how “love is patient, love is kind”…is not just something spouted as a memory verse, or simply embroidered on a forgotten pillow. It means hardcore living.it.out.
- Real community means having people support not only who you are, but also who you’ve been, and the person you want to become.
- Real community means collecting memories over time of yours and others’ personal growth, and getting the opportunity to contribute to that process.
- Real community means that the same people who are safe places to share your broken heart, are also ones that you can laugh with until you cry.
- Real community is a choice to pour out your life, knowing that the best way to live, is together.
I have so much more to give than what is seen in a neatly wrapped 30 minute sitcom. I am so ready to be a part of the non-canned laughter, the tears that don’t always get fixed by “just one” really good heart- to- heart, and the joy & passion that happens when people are deeply committed to the well being of each other.
So, here begins the story of a spunky Stacy, now a very real part of the refuge bunch.
Love it! Miss my Stacy but so glad she belongs to a community that appreciates her gifts!
whoa, another brady bunch groupie! i still remember the crazy longing on friday night to be a part of a group that loved me! especially a step parent.
you are joyful addition to our family, we welcome you and appreciate you in many ways.
lots of love, karl
Stacy … Oh, how I can relate. I too was the single kid to a single mom. When I was young there were cousins and stuff which made it tolerable, but divorce and dysfunction stripped all that away. I vowed to do something different for my kids. The marriage part got messed up, but I love seeing them grow into the refuge community. I hope their definition of community is what you layed out above and that their family continues to grow far and wide.
Thanks for such a touching piece!
Stacy, Stacy, Stacy!
You are officially adopted…and your ‘little’ dog too.
I’m so enjoying getting to know you, everything you share of yourself is a gift!
See ya soon neighbor girl.
XOXO~Deb
we are certainly not the brady family. i’m thinking maybe more like the osbornes meet little house on the prairie. lots of dysfunction, but a lot of love and support. glad you move into our house. you make it better just by showing up.