There are a few chains of “natural” or “organic” food stores. The ones I’m most familiar with are Whole Foods (some of which go by the name Wild Oats here in Colorado) and a local chain called Vitamin Cottage.

Growing up in a small town in Kansas I didn’t have access to such stores and so when I ventured out to Colorado for college I discovered these stores, their exciting stock, their prices (it was hard for a college kid and now a poor mom to afford!) and their smells.

It’s a smell unlike any other.

Earthy may be a good word.

I think of Vitamins, Minerals, Soil, Clean Dirt and other unnamed but interesting smells.

It isn’t a bad smell.

Just different.

One my nostrils find pleasant, but noticeable.

In college it always meant a treat. That I could go and choose a few items that were healthy and happily made and were good for me and Earth.

It stills means this for me and my family. We currently don’t have any special food needs that require us to go but conscience about animals and earth will take us there as well as the desire to eat well and do our best to be good to our bodies.

These stores still offer food, treats, make-up, all that I could find at any grocery store or market but these stores smell different. These smells have marked my experience of food shopping.

Community (for me specifically within the Refuge) has been a different smell, not always pleasant, always noticeable, to the church smelling part of my nose. And it has marked my experience of church/Jesus/people/relationships/life.

I came to community with a bad smell in my nose. And it was one I couldn’t get rid of. No matter how hard I tried to smell for roses or even got to smell actual ones I couldn’t shake the smell out of my 2 nostrils. My forehead wrinkled at the pungent odors of bad/poor leadership, people/women/children being put down, hypocrisy, judgement, hunger for power, etc. I had smelled these smells for years! Almost 3 decades. And they were sadly more powerful than the good smells that I almost chanced to encounter. I had sniffed togetherness, love, truth, and healing wafting towards me but it seemed they were always smothered.

So, I came hoping (always stupidly hoping [or not so stupid I guess]) that I would smell something different. But, I never did.

Or I never could.

When I began my adventure with community almost 3.5 years ago I could not smell the difference. I looked around and hoped but really felt I was trapped in the same small kitchen where the toast was burning. Again.

I had to leave the kitchen.

For about 3 or 4 months.

And I tell you the air was fresh in my lungs and my nose enjoyed it. I really liked this smell. And then something shifted. I’m not sure what. I’ve been trying to pinpoint it and I can’t. Maybe it really did come in with the wind. But I was ready to try once more community. So I came back.

It smelled the same, but wait…also different…I smelled chaos, honesty, confusion, healing, prettiness and ugliness. All at the same time. All of the smells doing their best to co-exist. And, for the most part, they do.

I stepped out into a kitchen that was structurally the same. Same foundation, same walls and 2×4’s, but the burnt toast smell had been aired out. Someone had opened the window and painted the walls and put out fresh hand towels.

I was still me.
Smelling with my nose.
The community was largely made up of the same people.
I began to make friends.
Share myself.
Share my story.
Listen.
Listen.
Smell.
Smell.

Sometimes the smell of the chaos does sting my nose and makes my eyes water. Sometimes my eyes water because of the stink, but sometimes my eyes water because of the beauty.

For me, the truest community that I have experienced has been the strange natural foods store.

Shelves lines with food.
Silver, metal carts to wheel around.
Beeps as the checkers run the items over the scanner.

Community is still Jesus.
Still spreading his love, his hope, his story, his gospel, his good news.
Chairs full of people.
A table with bread and juice.

Still a church.

Maybe though, real community also has some items on the shelves…
Hope
Honesty
Open Brokenness
Open Healing
Shared Power
Equality is pursued
All natural people…no extra additives…or we’re striving to get them out of our system.

Community smells different.
Not bad, just different and it has marked my life.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 20th, 2009 at 12:56 pm and is filed under christa, community. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.