I am drawn to the contemplative writers. Contemplatives (since early Christian times) generally are given to periods of deep silent prayer, meditation, and may even live a life devoted to prayer in a monastery or convent. They carve out quiet spaces in order to experience the soul’s union with God. Many contemplatives also seek a balance between work and prayer. I recently set aside a lengthy time from my schedule for finding some balance and restoration for the health of my body, mind, and spirit. I was carving out my own quiet space. I thought of it as my “soul sabbatical.” I couldn’t wait for this time of meaningful solitude.

The first 2 weeks away (in GA) would be for helping my mom. The first week my husband would be there, too. After that I would stay at the lake house 45 minutes from her home and be available if she should need me. This was a time to assess her long term needs in a more realistic way than I could from my home in CO. Meanwhile, I could have a time of solitude and reflection and enter into the process of actively listening to the Holy Spirit.

I sort of divided my day into blocks for reading, praying, working (cleaning, gardening, etc.), creative expression and relaxing I took along a small library of books for my reading times. I got a new camera to give serious attention to re-developing my long-time love of photography. I packed my sun hat, sun shirt and sunblock for working outdoors. I took my ipod and speakers, my journals and pastels. I planned for everything I might need, including my favorite spices to cook with.

There were some specific requests I had for my time alone with God. There are some things I have considered irreconcilable, and I wanted to understand how to live my life with what can be reconciled and to recognize what can’t. Ultimately I wanted to remember who I am, so I asked God, “Remind me who I am.”

In all my planning I didn’t count on the series of mishaps, severe weather, and unexpected battles with creepy creatures that happened. But most of all I didn’t plan on people. I felt the silence and trickery of God (and I say this in the most loving way!) Except for a few small sightings, I didn’t think God was speaking. I didn’t have much chance to hear him because people kept showing up to interrupt my solitude.

People from my past came out of the woodwork. We spent time together and reconnected. They told me stories I had forgotten. There were God stories and funny stories of crazy stuff we did. One by one they described my impact on their life. And it was…gulp…positive! They updated me on people we both knew that I haven’t seen in 35 years! They shared their own stories with me and listened to mine. There is no way I could have orchestrated getting in contact with two of the people that God brought around. That’s right, I said, “God brought around”, because that’s how I see it now.

In my desire to reconnect with God and myself, I had no desire to connect with people. I did want to hear the Holy Spirit, but was surprised that he chose to use people to speak to me. People I knew, who knew me–not just writers whose profound words I could reflect upon. I am a big proponent of community, but ironically, I didn’t expect community to be a way God would answer my prayer.

I got very little time alone or time to rest on my “soul sabbatical.” I did get to see the entire spring season in GA with all of its glorious beauty which helped to restore my soul. And I was reminded of who I am, in a most unlikely way. I’ve found that it’s hard to really know who I am outside of the context of community and relationships–who I am with people. I believe we are put here to remind each other of who we really are. That began to happen for me on my trip.

Has it happened for you?
Have you reminded anyone else lately?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 30th, 2009 at 8:16 am and is filed under community, jenny, prayer. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.