Last week, the week before Easter Week began, I facilitated a night about The Middle. The Space Between.
The Gray.
The Suburban.
The Middle-Aged.
The Middle Class.
For me thinking about being in the middle brought some negative connotations to my mind. Mostly, I thought about being in the middle of a fight. How terrible that feels. But, some friends last Saturday had better connotations…being safely in the middle, being protected…that’s a better thought…I would rather be a precious object safely wedged between 2 pieces of styrofoam than a woman between 2 opposing people yelling loudly.
But, whatever the connotation of “middle”, I think that within it lies an important and difficult journey that, in different ways, most of us have already embarked upon.
As I sat, waiting for the end of Lent, waiting for Easter Week to being I really felt like I was in another middle ground, this time specific to Easter.
It made me think of a book titled, Three Uses of the Knife, by David Mamet. In this book Mamet spends time on the 3 Acts of a play. Everything has 3 Acts. Plays, movies, books, lives. All of them have a beginning, a middle and an end. Even if movies, etc. aren’t specifically broken down into these Acts they are there moving the story and it’s characters along.
ACT 1: The beginning. The curtain rises, you turn the first page, the lights flicker on the screen and our attention is on. Without much effort from anyone else we (the audience/the participant) have chosen to focus on a story. Nothing big needs to happening (although it usually does) because we don’t need to be captured, we are already in that space, eyes and brains focused on the story we are choosing to be participants
Skip to ACT 3: The ending. If we have stayed in the story, and begun to care about the characters and want to know how things turn out for them, or at the very least have some curiosity and some questions we want answers for then we are still participating, we are still in, we want to be, we feel we need to be (I need to know what happen with Jack Bauer and 24 or LOST or Days of our Lives) or we choose to be. Again nothing much needs to be done if we have made it to Act 3. We still don’t need to be captured or re-captured, we are already in that space.
Back to ACT 2 - the middle. This is where it gets tricky. How does the playwright, the author, the filmmaker, keep us in? How can we the participant continue to make the choice to stay in? This is where it’s easy to get bored. Like in movies, at least I often say, “Oh come on, just tell me what happens.” Or in books, now I finished all 4 Twilight books in 1 week, but I kept saying - in the middle - “I just want to know what happens, can’t we cut to the good stuff, I know that what’s his name is beautiful and cold as ice but lovely as a God, but I just want to know, are they gonna stay together or not?” The middle is hard. Tortuous even.
Using Mamet and what he writes about, “Act 2 problems” we read that, the audience or the participant wants to be misled, to be disappointed at times so that we can finally be fulfilled at the end. In order to stay through to the end we must be in the middle, asking a question…Mamet writes, ” For much of our lives we are mired in an inability to frankly regard the middle term, to admit we have made a wrong turning…It’s not natural to embrace these problems. It is not comfortable-it calls upon one to admit one’s arrogance in trusting one’s own beloved skills and accomplishments.”
Maybe more simply put, It’s hard to stay in the middle. Hard to reflect on our lives and choices and hard to admit when we’ve failed and trusted in ourselves instead of Jesus.
Mamet continues, ” The true drama, calls for the hero to create in front of us the strength to continue, it is her striving to understand, to face her own character -in her choice of battles- that inspires us -and gives drama the power to cleanse and enrich our own character.”
Simply put - in the battles we choose to fight or that maybe Jesus has chosen for us it is our choice to stay in and find the strength to continue that is beautiful and life changing.
Here in this time before Easter I think we have our own 3 Acts.
Act 1 - Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday - a joyous, rowdy, celebration, it’s easy for most of us to eat and enjoy celebrating with our friends, easy to be here in this moment, the moment before…
Act 2 - The season of Lent, waiting, fasting, waiting, wondering, where is Jesus…what will happen to him…where has he gone…when will he come back…will he come back…does he want to come back…for me? This is hard. This is tortuous. It’s hard to stay here. Waiting for ACT 3. The only way to stay here, is to continue to ask questions and wait for the answers and pull strength out from Jesus who is always deep within us and around us.
There is always an Act 3 - always. Without it there is no ending and we all know that life is full of endings (good and bad). But we aren’t there yet…
Right now we are in this middle place of waiting and wondering.
May we all keep wondering and waiting with as much patience and grace as we can muster. May we continue to wait through our disappointments and bad choices. May we continue to wait for fulfillment. It’s coming. And we can wait together.
Christa - this is just beautiful.
christa, i loved this post. it’s always been so hard for me to wait. i want to know or even need to know how it will end. even when i’m not that hopeful that it will end well. at least it will be over. no need to be anxious anymore. but God does so much teaching in the space in between. it is fertile soil to learn patience, trust, surrender and faith. the older i get i can see the benefit of the wait, but like a child, waiting for his birthday, i still long to hear the rest of the story.