we know we sometimes drive people crazy at the refuge with our rugged rawness and lack of “professionalism”. where’s the power points, the lights, the 30 minute exciting inspirational message that gives you that shot in the arm you need to make it through the week? why do we ask questions and open up the floor to all kinds of crazy things that sometimes make us feel uncomfortable and awkward? where’s the predictability, amazing program & comfort that some of us have become so accustomed to? in the past few years we have undergone some major shifts in what we believe about church. we think that people are kind of hooked on church in a way that’s not super healthy–that if we don’t get a, b or c, then it’s not a worthwhile experience. that if we get pushed, challenged, made to feel uncomfortable, we bail. that sitting in a chair for an hour once a week, soaking in and not really having to do much more than listen is considered church. that we can be part of a church for years and still not be connected to anyone in an intimate and meaningful way. that our serving experiences need to be as pain-free as possible by keeping everyone on a once a month rotation for one hour timeframes so that they are not inconvenienced too much.
we believe the refuge is part of a movement in the body of Christ away from church toward real community. we recognize that this is against the grain and takes an incredible amount of work & risk; it is completely disorienting to some of us but what we believe is a more accurate representation of what Jesus meant. we are wholly committed to it at the refuge. and getting to it it requires detoxing. a pretty strong word. but we think it hits the nail on the head when describing what it is like to move away from our addiction to church toward a real and lasting intimacy with God & others in the Body of Christ. check out this article here, http://www.theofframp.org/Detox.html.
it is long but worth the read. we’d love to hear your comments.
Until recently, I would say my only addiction was Diet Coke. It was a significant, yet somewhat silly, several can a day habit that was pretty nasty to kick. Two and a half years later I still constantly crave it in the middle of the afternoon.
It terrifies me to think that the detoxing from my idea of church will still be ongoing 2, 3, however many years from now. But I do, or did, truly feel so safe in a big anonymous, loud, programmed, performance church. Perhaps it was that I could go, emotionally buy into all the smoke, lights, and sound and leave feeling spiritually “high”. But more it was likely the safety of not having to really be honest, to fail, to be raw. Sure I had a role there, with pastors over seeing me, and in their eyes, I’m sure I failed constantly. But ultimately they only cared that my failures and short comings would hurt their precious program.
In a place like the refuge I’m really fearful that my failures, my shortcomings, myself will ultimately fail and people will notice. Inevitably I will fail and it won’t be with something as insignificant as a program, but could be as significant as genuine friendships. And I suppose I’ve never known forgiveness, outside of Christ, that will allow me to mess up and still experience unconditional love.
Yes the detox experience is so real. I can feel the fearful shakes coming on now, just for being so honest right now with a group of people I hardly know…I could really use a Diet Coke.
hey lauren
love your comments. here at the refuge we have ALL failed and are not afraid to admit it. i, for one, am more afraid of those “perfect people” who don’t realize how much they have failed. just do your best. keep showing up. just be you. and we promise to love you no matter what. thanks for the courage when you shared your story, last week. glad you are joining us on our journey.
mike