as i was talking with two friends, one commented on an unpleasant meeting she had had with a mutual acquaintance, i’ll call him scott. i was amazed at how much energy and anger i used to try and convince the other friend how evil i thought scott was. that is what has lead to the writing of this blog. i realized, that as far as i think i’ve come, i still have the great propensity to be a huge judgmental asshole.
in the book “a denver book of prayer” cheryl lawrie’s says:
i am fasting this lent (not from chocolate or red wine, let me hasten to add, or muffins from deganis, coffee, or cut flowers of any description).
i am fasting from knowing.
so in a cafe, yesterday she, sitting next to me, exclaimed over the headlines: “britney shouldn’t be let near those children, should she?
and i (deep breath) said, i won’t ever know enough about britney to know”.
you know - and this is much more embarrassing than interesting - this lent, unexpectedly, i am finding i want to hear britney’s story all of it and i think i might even want to understand. (could this be compassion?)
it’s much harder than i thought it would be, this fasting.
as i watched a documentary called “the garden” at a recent refuge movie night i became almost livid at how poorly some people in the margins were treated by a rich man and a couple politically powerful women. i was so incensed that i got on the internet to get more dirt on these evil people, but was surprised by what i read. there was, actually, another side that the documentary “forgot” to tell. what they said was true, but what they left out spoke volumes. a friend of mine says “a half truth is a whole lie.”
my friend bob was shattered when his fiancee, linda, called off their wedding, because bob raised his voice to her. bob has a history of abuse and anger but has been in recovery for years, learning a better way to do life. in my community we all adore the “new bob”. he is one of the kindest, gentlest man i knew. bob’s whole community rallied beside him, because we knew his heart. linda’s community is looking at this incident a little differently. when they heard that bob had raised his voice to her, they told her to run. he is still abusive. (ironically, the same advice my community would tell a woman, if her fiancee, with abuse issues seemed to be being abusive again.) they just know linda, but not bob’s, amazing heart. is one a victim and the other a villain or are they both just broken people trying to live life in a relationship?? only God knows the real/whole story.
ralph had an affair that ruined his marriage and didn’t want to try and fix it. we love mary, his wife, and speak poorly of ralph. jack had an affair with megan which causes megan’s and roy’s marriage to crumble. megan did nothing to try and get back together with roy. but, we love jack and so we try to help him and megan make their new relationship work, while roy’s friends think ralph and megan are evil. on paper these stories seem, quite absurd, but they are in fact real stories with the names changed to protect the innocent.
there are ALWAYS two sides to a story. ALWAYS!! i find myself taking the side, that i am so sure is the the only true side.or at least my friends side. i put little effort into learning or caring about the other side of the story.
this lent, as cheryl stated in her poem, i am going to try to fast from being judgmental of john, linda, ralph and all those whom i sense are not living up to my expectations and moral codes. and try to see thing from their perspective. after all who made me the judge, jury and executioner?
for years paul harvey ended his broadcast saying: “and now you know the rest of the story.” do we???
As I come as a newbie to the practice of Lent, I am drawn like a child to the wondrous Lenten stories. The ironic fact is that in the last few years, I have let go of my entire lifelong collection of core theological beliefs, even some days, of my belief in God. Why then I ask myself, celebrate Lent, or any of the Church Liturgical Calendar? As I ponder that paradox, I have simply chosen to come to Lent in freedom, no strings attached, in beauty and simplicity.
…or said another way, Fat Tuesday, Ash Wednesday. I admit, I am brand new to the rhythm of the church calendar. Sure, I know how to do the occasional church potluck with ham bake and lime jello, but I don’t believe I have ever participated in anything that would resemble a corporate fast.
this past saturday night we had a fun conversation about the calling of the first disciples in luke 5:1-11. part of the power in the Bible is being able to identify with the story, to notice the intersections with our own life & to notice what God might be stirring up in us in the midst. in our conversation together there were a few observations about the story that i want to highlight here for those of you who weren’t there and are just reading for the first time.
we are thankful to have new neighbors at the grange: transition westminster/arvada/broomfield. we have mentioned the work that they are doing at different times over the past few months, but we thought it would be good for you to hear from them directly and know more about the work that they are doing in our community. the refuge is thankful for their spirit and dedication to community and look forward to sharing space and ideas in the months and years to come. you can learn more about upcoming events at 
as we focus on the church calendar together at our saturday evening gatherings and continue to cultivate the spirit and ethos of our life together in community, we will be using this closing prayer together. we hope the repetition of these words help penetrate our hearts–individually and corporately–and move us toward Jesus and each other.
when you hear the words “church calendar” what do you think?
As we continue the season of Christmas and move toward Epiphany, meditate on this reminder of the gift of Christ’s incarnation, from St. Bernard of Clairvaux (1090-1153) 
